[USER]

Unfortunately…going through a potential divorce. Networth that I (we really, no shame to stay at home moms) will be cut in half and I think I’m giving her the house.

The housing market is still shit and I likely cant afford a new home solo in the area I live. I NEED to stay here for my kiddos and 50/50 placement.

Should I bite it and get a house and live tight? Or rent? Rental prices aren’t super horrible but much smaller living arrangements and I could potentially save a higher down payment to better afford.. or sell off shares to bring my monthly back in line with what I currently pay so I can have a bedroom for each of my three kiddos.

Just looking for opinions regarding the situation and current market. I hate that I’m in this situation as I do not want this divorce, nor want to leave my house.

Thanks for the read.

[Sage]

Marriage is a spiritual and lifelong partnership, divorce is a business contract.

I wouldn’t give up your stake in the house unless it was offsetting an equal value elsewhere (say letting you keep your 401k)

I don’t say that out of green, but because the family home holds great weight in family court and represents stability and continuity for the kids.

Letting her keep it while you get an apartment can sway time sharing away from 50/50 depending on the judge and jurisdiction and that can have huge implications on child support moving forward and thus your overall financial future.

I’ve seen horror stories man….

[Brad]

Rent definitely until you get stable. Never make big decisions in chaotic situations. Rent definitely isn’t wasting money like a lot of people say it is.

It provides a needed service that absorbs a lot of the costs that homeowners absorb.

Stay focused and get a long term plan.

[Lee]

Don’t buy a place, rent your life will change so much in the next 5 years or so

Don’t leave the house until everything is agreed
Personally I gave up my stake in the house in exchange for spousal support/alimony

Try to get as much of a clean break as possible and then move on with your life

[Tina]

The gap in renting vs buying is huge right now. I think it makes more financial sense to rent.

You’ll be glad you gave yourself a little time and freedom to figure out your next steps.

This is a bad time for you to be making a huge decision like buying a house.

[Jeanette]

Some parents are BOTH. Renting apartments and then staying in the home with the kids during their custodial days.

That way the kids are not disrupted.

[Stevens]

I don’t know your situation and no comment on finances BUT divorce is almost 100% avoidable in the absence of abuse (infidelity etc), BUT both people must be committed to doing things differently than they have been and that is often harder to do than say.

That being said, divorce doesn’t have to be a negative thing, for the adults or the children.

If you must divorce then do so with everyone’s well being in mind and money can be earned.

[Russell]

Why don’t you keep the house, and let her have the investment accounts? If she’s the one initiating the divorce, she should be the one to leave the home.

[Maxine]

How old are the kids? If it’s only a few yrs until they’re in college I’d rent, cause you don’t know what your life or theirs will look like after that or where they’ll be.

But if they’re small kids, say under 5, I’d bite the bullet and buy but I’d buy something where I could rent out a portion of it, like thr basement or something.

This would give you the space to house the kids when you have them, and the rental income would help offset the additional expenses of owning a house solo.

If you’re living in a small apt either much less space, etc than the mothers house then as your kids get older they’re gonna want to be spending more time at moms just because kids value comfort and convenience.

If that happens you’ll likely end up paying child support.

So that may be more costly than if you’d bought a home and had 50/50 custody.

[Author]

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