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How have you balanced chasing financial independence and maintaining time away from work?
I rarely work less than a 70hr week, and I’m so burned out. I know I can’t afford to slack off, but I look in the mirror and see how fast it’s aging me.
I’m not one of those guys who can allow myself to let the house go, either. So in my hours off,
I’m still taking care of random home repairs, maintaining the lawn, cleaning the house, the cars, etc etc.I feel like a work machine, and im just exhausted.
MelI seems to me you’re a workaholic or very goal oriented, which at the level you’re functioning at, I would explore deeper unconscious wounds or emotions (or denial of these feelings).
Start by journaling what you want/need for material comfort as well as for ego/pride/sense of success/failure. And see if you can pull a pattern.
Then try to link the feeling to experiences or beliefs growing up.
At the end of the day, you want to imagine how you want to feel and what does this life look like. And if your current way of living is conducive to that.
You’re brave to be aware and admit this awareness as it could bring changes to how you do things. And sometimes change can be just as scary as it is exciting.
good luck!
AnnieWe are not wealthy by any means, but we have started “out sourcing” some of our chores. Maybe treat yourself to lawn service, or instacart for grocery shopping.
We resisted at first and thought it was a huge waste of money (and hinderance to building wealth)…but, the time it has saved us has felt like a luxury, and has allowed us to be more present during regular work hours.
It’s so nice to not worry about finding the time to get to the store, I can imagine coming home to a freshly mowed lawn is pretty awesome too.
SunnyI quit my job last year. Got burned out emotionally and physically. Decided to take gap year to world travel. So far I’ve been to Portugal, Chile, Argentina, Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand, Hong Kong, Banff (Canada).
Went on long weekends to Boston, Grand Canyon, Myrtle Beach.
Gearing up for Guatemala and Turkey soon.I thought it would “just” be a year. But now I’m not so sure what job I’ll do next or when.
Living my dream life.
BennettI cut back my hours on the journey to FI after accruing rentals to supplement my income and allow for my time for enjoyment/pleasure.
I had to grind to get to that point though.
Rentals helped me, and they will also supercharge your path to independence if started relatively young.
MatthewThis is why CoastFI is so valuable. I would strongly suggest you identify your CoastFI number and see if you can slow down and enjoy life more.
You may be able to take a different, less stressful job providing it covers your annual expenses.
Take care of yourself.
AudreyOutsource and delegate. If you are working 70 hr/ week, hire a housekeeper to do the heavy cleaning, consider a laundry service, and even meal prep and landscaping.
If you are running on fumes, you either need to find a way to slow it down or your body will find a way to force a slow down.
ValerieIt’s important to take time off work for a variety of reasons. At the rate you are going you won’t enjoy retirement.
You need hobbies, you need to know how to slow down and enjoy life.
AlexanderIf you find work you are passionate about it doesn’t feel like work plus you can get wealthy faster. But you need the right mentality.
If you get rich you can pay people to do all those other things.
TweetieIf you have the money, pay someone to do the lawn & house cleaning. If you aren’t home much, due to working 70 hours, then the house shouldn’t be overly dirty.
You can even pay your own kids to do these tasks, I’m sure they would love to make money
SusanI’d recommend you read Die with Zero by Bill Perkins and Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel.
You might also read Your Money or Your Life by Vicki Robin.
RyanOne thing I’ve learned is, if you’re throwing away your prime years to chase that extra dollar tomorrow (which is never promised), you’re doing it wrong.
I’m built the same way, I stress if I rest rather than work, but you have to find a healthy balance.
Work hard, but take time to enjoy life now. Like I said, tomorrow is never promised. Balance is key
RussellFirst up, why can’t you afford to ease up on working what’s essentially two full time jobs?
Either you are living way beyond your means or something else is wrong.Downsize your costs. House and lawn taking up your off time?
Switch to a modest condo. Spend some of the difference in the smaller mortgage on a twice a month housekeeper service.
What do you drive? Sell it and get something cheaper for cash.
Start reducing your outflows NOW.You want those to be small anyway when you retire and so your FIRE number can be lower.
Once your costs are down, you can ease off that unsustainable pace you’re working.
QuinteroSingle parent of a teen with extra curricular and year round, demanding career, home and garden to take care of. I have outsourced general landscape services and it has been the best affordable luxury.
It runs me $160 a month and well worth it.
I do everything else, and settle that it’s not perfect. I love looking out in the yard to see it tidy winter or summer.
I also love gardening and it affords me the time to spend out in the yard on what truly brings me joy, vs spending time on the yard work that I find
VivienneNot sure how old you are but those hours are not sustsinable especially as you hit your late 50s early 60s.
Look around you at people of that age, it’s a race against time, especially for guys.
BrendaI’ll be totally honest. I haven’t found balance. I’m now 60 and have accumulated what I need but now I’m a lot slower physically and can’t do everything I planned. Learn from me!
Part of my problem, and possibly yours, is I’m salary. I feel like I need to work all the time to keep my job. It shouldn’t be like that, but that’s how my generation learned to work.
I now also have my own business where I know about how much I can make in an hour.
I am just starting to learn that, if I can make say $50 an hour, and a house cleaner costs $30 an hour, I’m better off paying a house cleaner. Can you look at it that way?
ElleI understand. It’s tough. Great advice already. I’ll only offer, spend some time thinking through or recalling things you enjoy or have enjoyed in the past.
Maybe music, playing in a band, sports, jogging, meditation or prayer, going to conferences or concerts, taking a class etc.
Things that truly make you feel alive. Make time to do that at least monthly, even if it means you delay the next home repair or you actually use some PTO.
I also encourage you to either re-evaluate your circle or start spending more time w/people you enjoy and who enjoy you.
They say a person’s level of general feelings of happiness has something to do w/the quality of relationships in their life. It doesn’t have to be a spouse.
It can be friends, neighbors, family members, people you meet who enjoy the same hobbies… seek to find and invest in some good relationships.
If you’re a person of faith/spiritual, get back into that esp. if it centers/grounds you. I know some people who felt a greater sense of purpose and satisfaction leaning into their beliefs and activities related to them.
For example, Christians (and probably most religions) are taught to give back, so there are a lot of opportunities to volunteer, which often makes work feel more meaningful since it’s impacting those that need it.
That can help, too.
Lastly, don’t underestimate the power of a giod therapist. I heard it can be incredibly helpful.
Any of these things, along with the great advice above, can help with you quality of life. You are not a machine. I hope you make time for the things that make you feel truly human.
Hope this helps!
ShawnWhy can’t you afford to slack off? What is your savings rate? You should enjoy the journey.
There isn’t any magic that happens after FI.
RochelleI allow at least one day a month to do minimal house work and the rest of the day to rest, read, binge watch tv.
It has definitely allowed me to continue working an intense schedule.
BrendaYou need to take a break from burning candles or you going to get ill. Read the book when the body says no and will have motivation not to work 70 hours a week
AriaFor me, I switched to something I can do from home and it doesn’t keep me working all day long.
And I agree with Shawn, there isn’t any magic that happens after FI
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