[Kris]

How do you all manage gift giving throughout the year? It feels like there’s always an occasion, birthdays, graduations, weddings, baby showers, retirements, and I find myself buying gifts nearly every month for family, friends, and colleagues.

I’m working on investing more and making room in my budget for self-care and fun, but the constant gift expenses are eating into that.

I’ve started noticing that I often skip out on things I enjoy or would like to buy for myself in order to afford gifts for others.

I genuinely enjoy giving and supporting people when I can, so it’s not about being stingy. But it’s become so frequent that it’s hard to keep up without feeling financially stretched.

How do you set boundaries around this without seeming unkind or like you’re not thoughtful?

[Bill]

You have to pick and choose in this situation. You are not obligated to give any gift. If there are people important to you and you feel it is appropriate then gift what you want but it is not an obligation.

When I graduated high school my parents wouldn’t allow me to send out graduation announcements.

They said all that is, is begging for money.

I sure have sent a lot of graduation checks and never received one in my day.

You are in charge of your checkbook.

[Christina]

I stopped participating in gift gifting/exchanges back in my 20s.

I told my family and friends straight up about it and if they don’t respect my decision, it’s on them.

As I get older, I care less about how people think of me especially on how I choose to spend my money.

[Ryan]

I don’t participate. I don’t give and I don’t receive.

It’s a scam like a pay it forward chain at the drive through.

[Stephanie]

It’s not popular but I just don’t participate. I buy my family Christmas gifts but I don’t do birthdays.

If I had a close relative I would likely give cash for a graduation. Baby showers, weddings, retirement…. nah.

Don’t get me anything and I won’t get you anything and we will call it even.

Those aren’t events/occasions I would likely attend anyway so I doubt anyone would notice

[Tory]

1. Someone I know keeps gift cards they receive as gifts and regifts them. I thought this was clever.

2. I’ve bought gifts using my flexible spending card. For example, a baby shower gift of newborn essentials that are all covered under flex spending.

3. I bought a pack of 50 multi-celebration greeting cards and write a thoughtful note.

4. Switch it up. Some years mom gets a Mother’s Day gift, other years just a card.

5. Offer to spend quality time with someone after the event. For example, a month after a colleague retires, meet up with them for a walk in the park or coffee.

6. Offer to help plan, decorate, or clean up after an office celebration instead of contributing to a gift.

7. Buy deeply discounted items and hold them for occasions where a gift is expected.

For example, buying a bunny stuffed animal on Easter clearance and then gifting it for a baby shower or child’s birthday.

8. Make a declaration (as others have suggested) that this year you won’t be exchanging holiday gifts or that your gift budget is reduced from previous years.

Reciprocity with gift giving is a delicate issue with lots of people/families. Hedge off any hurt feelings early by being clear and explicit about your intentions.

[Alex]

I’ve been wanting to not participate in gifts on both giving and receiving.

We just had a baby and the consumerism is already insane

[Marie]

It something feels like it’s too much, then it’s probably too much.
I had to make a decision on what we buy gifts for, and for which occasions.

We made a decision and we are intentional about it.
We give gifts to our families at Christmas.

On our birthdays we give gifts OR have a party (birthdays for those in our household only).

We get something very small for the grandmas and grandpas on Mother’s and Father’s Day.

Extended family birthdays– they get a phone call and we sing happy birthday to them.

Other than that, we just don’t do it. On rare occasions we might give a gift for a wedding or baby shower. Obviously, if you want to go to a bridal or baby shower, you should bring a gift, but it doesn’t have to be big.

When things come up and you’re not giving a gift, you CAN still be excited for the person. You can show some excitement, say nice things.

Also, a LOT of people understand and are in this same boat!!!
Some of the nicest people I know, and who I’m honored to have in my life, NEVER get me or my family any gifts for any occasion.

And one more thought…. Dollar Stores tend to have greeting cards for cheap. A card can be a nice way to show support without spending much money.

[Evelia]

Sometimes, the gift of time is the most valuable. Gifting services like hours of gardening, child care for a date night, a walk in the park, pet sitting, doing a manicure, helping sort out and clean the garage are some ideas.

For children (family), popcorn and a movie at home or a sleepover with board games.

These suggestions can be for family or close friends for birthdays or special occasions.

For Christmas, I always gift grandkids something I would normally not buy, and budget throughout the year for it.

[Sosa]

Temu is great lord of cheap things and I like to have a present cupboard stored

But I would put your saving goals first and maybe make a list for the rest of the year of the specific people you would like to gift so you are aware and prepared mentally ahead

[Heather]

We have a monthly budget for gifts. I personally love giving gifts, it fills my bucket.

So, I put money aside monthly, and use it as things pop up.

This also includes my Christmas gift budget.

[Author]

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