[Nalani]

Have any of you successfully FIRED but then had to go back to work to support aging family members?

Or were unable to help family members that you wanted to help because you gave up your career?

[Frank]

Yes, I delayed FIRE to support family. It was one of the best decisions I ever made.

And my father is still alive at age 96 and I will see him for Father’s Day.

[Bill]

If that is something you want / need to do, you should factor that in BEFORE you quit.

[Dillon]

Planning on working longer to eventually help support my dad than we would have needed if just supporting ourselves.

Also planning our walkout basement renovation with ADA access in mind in case he ever needs to move in to help keep housing and assistance costs down.

[Judith]

I will not be comfortable retiring until my father passes away just in case he needs my financial help.

[Kimi]

Yep, working FT much, much longer just to be able to pay for MIL Assisted living AND our own household.

[Valerie]

Unless your life consists of you and only you, I think we all make choices to do this (or not) for family members no matter the age.

Stay at home parents may return to work to beef up college funds (me), or decide to continue to stay home (or leave paid work) to physically care for their elders (many cultures) or an ill or disabled spouse or child.

For some people it’s a cultural given, as nursing homes or assisted living facilities aren’t what they would ever choose or perhaps can afford, and others would never consider providing elder care themselves, having a more independent view of family responsibilities.

Some parents would never consider paying for college.

It usually comes down to values, culture, financial ability and time resources and additional support from siblings or other relatives.

[Eric]

I am approaching that decision now. I may need to find a real job again.

Time with my parents to help them throughout the day though is priceless so it’s a catch 22.

[Dodge]

I struggle with this all the time. My MIL has rare form of dementia, with a life expectancy of ≈ 7-9 years.

It’s been 4 since the diagnosis, but there were signs for years before that.

No way for us to know how much longer she will be around, but she is in a lock down memory care facility in the Bay Area (≈ $9k p/month)
My FIL has almost depleted his 401k, and will have nothing but SS in about one year.

We are Coast FI, which I always wanted to either go part time, or leave my W2.

If I stay my RSUs will cover her care for the year, so my FIL doesn’t have to sell his house to continue to pay for her.

Also, if I stay, I’ll continue to be miserable when I know I am desperately in need of a mini retirement, and a chance to decompress so I can reinvent myself for my ‘second act’.

Hardest decision to face, and probably why I haven’t pulled the trigger and left my W2.

[Marissa]

I am 37 and currently planning on retiring by 55 and/or at least be work optional at 50.

However, I know that I will need to support my mom (63) who is still working but makes very little and has next to nothing saved. So, my plans are taken with a grain of salt.

[Aaron]

I would not forgo my fire goals to support a family member. There’s of course a wide range of reasons someone could want slash need support but the majority of the ones I’ve encounter personally have been due to their own decisions and choices.

I’m not compromising my life goal to compensate for someone else’s choices.

[Author]

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