[‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎USER]

Any retirement advice for my dad? He’ll be 64 this year. He’s currently a truck driver, but he’s eager to transition to a local job.

This would require a significant pay cut.

Recently, I discovered he gave my brother about $40k for a down payment on an investment condo. This went toward purchasing my brother’s third investment property.

He says it will probably be a few years before he’s able to start paying my dad back.

Seperately, my brother has sold my dad this dream of building AirBnBs on some land bordering my brother’s house in another state.

He has talked my dad into a no paperwork lease to buy this land.

It’s been two years and we don’t even know if the land is buildable. My dad pays $600 per month towards this land with a total of $35k in it.

My brother insists this land is my father’s “only investment” and tells us we don’t understand investments if we think cancelling this deal will help my dad.

In reality, I don’t think this property will turn a profit in my dad’s lifetime.

Unfortunately, no paperwork nor formal agreements accompanied either of these deals. These “investments” have left my dad with a grand total of about 20k in savings.

My father’s generosity stems from a kind heart, and I’m trying to help him financially recover so we can semi-retire him.

I’d love advice on how anyone else would navigate this.

Should we pursue legal action, prioritize halting the land deal, or focus on restructuring his finances and career plans?

Are there any devil’s advocates out there that can convince me brother is right and I shouldn’t be infuriated by all of this?

Thank you!

[Michele]

If there’s no legal lease or paperwork your dad can stop sending money to your brother and focus on himself.

Going forward, he needs to say no to your brother and hope he can recoup anything he’s sent. I wouldn’t count on it, so move on.

If your brother wants to formalize agreements then he can do so, with your attorney.

[Fritze]

Your Dad is a grown man. He made choices. It’s not your responsibility to manage his retirement or his choices. Were the good ones? Maybe not.

But they were his to make.

I would take a step back, then out. Your moral support and your love for him is a priceless gift – keep giving it but you can’t help someone who can’t be helped and you shouldn’t jeopardize your families future over this.

If you have extra funds you want to donate, that’s great. But just know, you’re enabling your brother to take more from him by picking up the slack on the back end.

I’m sorry you’re in this situation.

[Robert]

I think you and your father should visit either an elder law attorney, or an elder law financial planner; and lay this all out and have one of those individuals tell you what your options are.

Given the fact that your father’s total savings are only (apparently) $20,000, he’s gonna have to move in with one or the other of you after he retires because unless he has a pension; Social Security simply is not gonna give him enough money to live on unless his current residence is fully paid for.

Sad to say your dad has made (apparently ) made poor choices brought his life in terms of savings and investments – or the lack of to where is is now in this position.

The only bright side of this matter that I can see is it at least your father has two people he can rely on; there are plenty of older people in your dad situation who were childless and have no family….. and they usually end up living out of vans or camper vehicles.

[Barron]

Just reading at face value I think your brother is definitely taking advantage of your dad’s generosity and relationship and may potentially cause him financial hardship.

However, at the end of the day he is his own man and you probably don’t want to get in the middle especially if they are both close to each other.

Nothing good can come out of it.

[Author]

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