[USER]

My mother-in-law broke down tonight because my FIL, squandered away their life savings and racked up $40+k in CC debt.

This is sudden news! He is 70, declining health and can’t find a job.

She has recently retired with a pension. I could say a billion negative things about him and they would stick. However, at this point all I care about is helping my wife and MIL with this difficult situation.

I am very good with money, budgeting, shaving non-essentials ect…I offered to help her and she accepted.
She has never been involved in the finances, so I gave her a list of to-do’s.

#1 on the list was to take immediate control of the CCs ×10+, checking and savings accounts.

#2 check on status of his life insurance policy and get one if she has to. #3 provide me a list of all 28 bills so we can start cutting. He already hates me so, he is going to

Unfortunately, this is my limited short-term relief suggestions.

What about long-term? Debt consolidation only shaves $300 a month. They can only afford minimum payment on all CCs.

I’m already throwing out the idea of chapter 7 because I only see them drowning with a $2k mortgage payment. However, he has 5 tax lean properties that are uninhabitable in another state.

This is what his 30 years of retirement went to. It looks to be a scam and he’s very secretive about it. I’m not sure how this would factor in the chapter 7 bankruptcy?

My intentions are to help my MIL take control of the horrific mess he created, find professional help if necessary and secure her future.

My relationship with my FIL has been straigned since I caught him stealing from his daughter’s school funds 20 years ago.

I will bear ZERO apologies for what is about to happen!! I’m all ears for advice, suggestions, or hope!

TIA!

[Gretchen]

Honestly, can you convince your MIL to leave the marriage? What you are describing is abuse.

You would never suggest she stay if he beat her.

[Tan]

Hang in there! Sometimes you can only help so much and it looks like you already did all you could.

Unless your FIL agrees to listen to you and turns things around, or you’re in laws decided to divorce, then you can probably help your MIL with future finance.

There is 0 chance of success if your FIL doesn’t agree to the plan.

[Katherine]

You have done the right thing and I have no doubt your MIL is hugely thankful to you for listening to her, supporting her in a non-judgmental way and setting out an initial path for her to information gather.

Once she gathers up the information (and no doubt she will uncover more financial piculiararities) then a fuller picture will emerge of what steps to take to resolve this matter. There are two aspects

1. The current debts

2. Preventing further debt, budgeting and future income flow.

Various options are available to debtors including the Ramsey Method, debt consolidation, selling an asset to clear debts and Chapter 7.

Obviously, your MIL needs to consider how best she protects herself into the future if he doesn’t change his behaviours and how this secrecy and marital financial abuse impacts the marraige.

And she needs to find out what he was spending the secretly borrowed money on.

This is information gathering time.

And keeping her longterm security in focus is also needed.

[Author]

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