[USER]

Hi All, I know we aren’t in a good position for this point in our lives and I’ve already berated myself plenty, so I would truly appreciate only constructive feedback.

Thanks in advance if youre able to take the time to read through this!

I’m 64, husband is 66. I retired from public school system in 2023 with a decent pension; hubby will likely work until June 2026.

His pension with SS will be about $1800/month less than he currently makes, which is why hes delaying retirement.

Combined our monthly net take home pay is about $12,500.

We do “own” our home, with about 450K equity but our mortgage payment is very high (live in modest home in SoCal) as we had to get an FHA loan so pay $5700 a month including property tax.

I definitely want to refinance out of FHA, but rates would have to drop at least another 1+ points for it to do any good.

Without going into a litany of life’s trials, I’ll summarize and say that we have about $95K in consumer debt between credit cards and personal loans, plus about $35K in Parent Plus loans.

I will be going back to work three days per week sometime this month.

If I’m being completely honest, I would say about 10 to 15% of the accumulated debt are things we could have done much better on, budgeting more tightly, avoiding extra expenses with the kids as they grew up (have raised 3 adult kids, daughter did competition dance).

The bulk of the debt has come from 5 home “floods” (2 covered by insurance, then we were cancelled and had to get sub par insurance), and raising a child with special needs, for whom some necessary (life saving) treatments weren’t covered by insurance.

He is doing better now, and working part-time now, but we still help support him.

Right now, until i start work again, our monthly output exceeds our income by about $1K to $1500 (dependent on what emergencies come up and son’s expenses).

For SO many years, my life consisted of raising kids (1 with high needs) and working full time: just getting through the days. Now that we’re approaching our “golden” years, I really want to enjoy life—particularly travel.

We could take equity out of the house, but that’s essentially our only asset. We do have 2 elderly parents, and will receive a decent inheritance at some point.

*Life is short! I know that I need to be practical and start chipping away at this mountain of debt, but also truly want to enjoy the time we have left, which includes travel.

I have some health problems, so better sooner than later. How to tackle all of this??

Please be kind…

[Janeen]

Few things going on.
1. Sell your home in California and move to a more affordable state where you could either buy the home outright or assume someone else’s loan (save those interest pennies).

2. Any additional money from the house sale goes toward debt; pay it off.

3. Set aside an emergency fund…stuff comes up.

4. Don’t acquire new debt.

5. Start following Dave Ramsey.

6. The new home should, almost completely, make travel possible. $5700 a month is a lot of travelling.

[Pam]

a look at your mortgage- IF you refinance or remortgage or do a HELOÇ – 2 things – you will spend a huge amount of money of fees surveys doc charges (how do you think banks make money – this is one) 2 – you will be essentially starting over w a mortgage.

DO NOT FALL FOR THE SALES PITCH that the fees can be rolled into the mortgage- you bet they can and you will pay interest on those fees for the life of the loan.

INSTEAD- pay additional principal on the current mortgage- it does Not Cost anything to do this

B E VERY SURE THO- TO MAKE A SEPERATE PAYMENT AND A – NOTE- EACH AND EVERY TIME – THIS PAYMENT IS- ADDITIONAL – PRINCIPAL!!! OTHERWISE THEY CAN AND PROBABlY WILL PUT IT ON THE INTEREST.

even if a small amount it will immediately begin to. Carve away at the total amount-pushing your monthly interest balance lower and principal higher

. Regardless of when your mortgage is due try to do this at the beginning of the month – so there is NO Confusion- pay by check on any day OTHER than your.

mortgage- a note in the memo line w additional PRINCIPAL and a form letter attached. Keep a COPY. If you don’t get your checks back make ahard copy before you mail.

One complete additional principal at the beginning of your.

mortgage will take 7 years (that’s alot of money) off the end of your mortgage

[Joanne]

I would look at moving somewhere cheaper than California. Sell the house pay off your debt and start traveling because before too long you won’t be able to go anywhere if you have health issues.

[Kimmy]

CA probably has that program that pays you to be son’s caretaker as well.

That, along with your new stream of income from working ought to add nicely to your monthly deficit!

[Lisa]

Depending on where you live in Southern California, there are cheaper places inland.

Your husband still working is a consideration for where you live, but I would do everything possible to reign in your spending, and pay off your debt.

And it sounds like you need to go back to work to accomplish this.

Good luck

[Sandy]

I’d take your parents into your home, that way you keep your home, take care of them and they help you with your monthly expenses.

[Nancy]

Remove the mortgage insurance since you’ve paid your home down, it’s no longer required.

I sold and moved to a cheaper state. We were able to pay 60% down on a new home, which was newer, twice as big plus 80 acres.

Our mortgage payment is $650 not including tax or insurance.

No mortgage insurance required when putting 20% or more down.

Loving our retirement!

[Brenda]

A reverse mtg can be life changing. But they are expensive so you want to be in your forever home (single story, low maintenance etc).

You won’t be leaving any equity to the kids but it’s better to enjoy life and not leave them with any debt.

Retiring sneaks up on you.

Good luck!

[Lisa]

Have you tightened up all the little expenses? I just cut my cable, using all free streaming and Walmart antennas. Saving $130.00 a month.

I prefer to grocery shop in the morning, some meat us always 50 percent off, come home and freeze. Cut electric bill as much as possible.

All the small expenses really add up. Find all the thrift shops in your area.

Focus fulfilling gaps in your wardrobe and home from thrift shopping. Also big church sales, and private schools have white elephant sales in the spring.

Do not hesitate, thrifts and sales are not for the poor, they are to raise money for a cause. Cut out as much gift giving as possible.

Cook, stop all take out and going out. Make extra and freeze so you always have fast meals ready. Take snacks with you. $25.00 here and there, really add up.

With the responsibility of older parents and special needs child you may need to defer travel, to focus on their needs and paying down all this debt.

I would defer taking your social security and focus on bringing in more income. Old age can be very expensive. I saw this caring for my mom.

You want to be able to pay for extras to make life easier…a stair lift, $3,000.00, a portable oxygen concentrator $2,500.00, a nurses aid, $30.00 an hour.

If you have no savings, owe this amount of money and are unable to make your bills, to be frank…you need a major lifestyle change.

You retired too early, and need to return to work, plus maybe a part-time job at a tutoring center or similar. Look for day trips to attractions….bring a meal in a cooler.

Senior centers sometimes offer a business trip…..but exotic travel probably outside your budget for now.

Don’t count on someone else’s savings to bail you out when they die.

It could end up being much less than you think….and you may need the money for your old age.

[Jacky]

Pay off the debts now while taking care of your parents. It might be hard to travel right now having elderly parents and depending upon their future needs, the inheritance, may not be a given to pay off those debts.

This way in several years, your debts can be paid and if you do receive something, it will be a windfall.

Maybe take little trips in CA and surrounding states. Best wishes!!

[Karen]

Not sure moving is the best idea considering many factors you’ve mentioned. So, have you got an option to reduce taxes with homestead senior application?

That may offer a smidgen of reduction from mortgage payments.

Consider applying for other senior benefits from government and other resources. Is anybody a veteran?

Check out those benefits.

Every penny helps.

[Brian]

Is moving an option? While So Cal is beautiful, it’s so expensive. Selling your house, you could pay off all your debt, and still have enough left over to buy a modest house in many very nice areas around the country.

Both you and your husband could be retired now.

[Marsha]

Sit down with your husband and decide how much you want to travel. If it’s really really important to you, figure out a way.

You don’t want to live with regrets. My husband was a public school teacher and he had to retire because of health before full retirement benefits.

I was a stay at home mom, private music teacher and worked 14 years in the schools as a PA.

We don’t have debt, but don’t have a lot extra. We have had to do our retirement on a smaller scale than many people.

It’s ok. We are happy. Just do what you need to do and don’t apologize for it.

[Patricia]

Never count on an inheritance. California seems to be the most expensive state. I’d sell, leave California and you could buy a house with your profit in another state.

You’d live extremely well anywhere else.

[Laura]

I decided to sell my house and travel now. I have given so much to my children for educations and travel over the years.

So long as there is money to bury me, they don’t need inheritance.

I have life insurance so they will all get something when I go.

[Kathy]

I am not quite seeing how you can afford travel in the near future….your expenses are pretty high (which might work for you as long as you love where you live).

It would seem that you need to continue working full time to get your debt gone, and then you can start enjoying retirement!

[Anita]

You need to find a Consimer Debt place to help you prioritize your bills. If you hubby retires next year and goes on SS, most likely your monthly income will be less.

It’s unfortunate you are in this situation, but I really think travel is out for at least 5 years. You need to get this debt under control. What about taking in a renter?

I too am in S CA, retired teacher also and my husband has done a great job finding the best deals with Dish, phones, internet, and home and car insurance. Start there.

Question all your bills.

What can you give up? Cable? How many phones are on your plan? Start slimming down these extra expenses.

Write everything down what you owe and pay off the smallest credit cards. Then apply those payments to the next least debt.

Keep applying the paid off debts to the next debt. You can do this.

[Julie]

I urge you to make paying off debt a priority and not taking equity out of your house. My mom’s house was paid off and she took out a 2nd mortgage.

She got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and died within 6 weeks of that diagnosis.

Now, the money she had in in savings and the small life insurance policy she had are being used to pay the mortgage while we try to sell her house.

It’s a huge burden on my siblings and me. I know my mom would be so sad to see how we’re struggling.

I’m sure you don’t want to leave your children in a similar situation.

[Donna]

Unless y’all have to absolutely stay in CA,,, move to a less expensive state,,, when hubs retires,, sell your house,, pay off debt,,, pack up kid/s who lives with y’all including bringing parent’s if they live in CA….

Then get a house big enough that everyone can live together but have own space / quiet time & maybe also consider when you find a house get one with lots of property then could have extra like tiny houses / cabins built on the property for whoever would rather near but like their own home / space….

so that way everyone is close together especially when ever someone needed help / assistance… if y’all had good amount of property could garden ,, raise chickens,, can stuff from garden,, everyone work together at each one’s pace… good luck….

Let us know what y’all do / decide… take care… God bless all of you..

[Author]

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