[USER]

Hello All, My partner (39 y/o male) has made some financial mistakes in the past and is actively working on damage control… He has 0$ in savings, 0$ in 401K and $50K left in student loans.

Recently he has worked to pay off $30K in CC debt. He makes $150K annually.

His employer has a 401K match of a certain percentage.. though presently can’t recall. He is not contributing yet but plans to.

Myself, (36 y/o female) has $242K in investments, $45K in 401K and $4K in emergency fund savings (high yield).

I am working on building these. I make $110K annually. My employer does not have a 401K match.

We are in a HCOL, but fortunately have cheap rent ($1200 each/$2400 total). We would like have 1 child within the next 3 years.

I would like to retire before 60. He would like to retire at age 62. I would like to have an annual travel budget of $10K each.
What is realistically feasible?

Where should he begin? Where should I work harder? Financial literacy class?

I did not know about the lack of funds initially and this has put enormous stress on me and strain on the relationship.

I do not think he has a realistic understanding of what retirement or future planning costs.

Appreciate all help and advice

[Kent]

Sounds like you need to get your spending under control.
Between the two of you, you are earning more than a quarter-million dollars a year.

Try to figure out where this $$$ has been disappearing to each year.

[Gillian]

Def recommend building up an emergency fund so you won’t get into more debt if something bad happens. Contribute to the 401 k now because it’s tax advantaged.

Figure out what you can spare after that for an emergency fund and paying off debt.

Are your partner’s student loans federal or private? What is the interest?

I’d suggest looking at traveling for cheaper than 10k. It can be done! Build a budget and also look at value based spending.

For me, I don’t buy expensive clothes or skin care because I like to travel and have pets, so both of those things are where a good chunk of discretionary spending goes.

[Christopher]

You’re making a ton and have a decent head start. Like other have said, work on controlling spending, and build savings habits now – sign up for the 401k, open IRAs, and a 529 for the expected kid, and then put in a solid amount.

Live off whatever is left, and try and save some outside the tax shelters too (you’ve already got a solid start on that).

With no kids, cheap rent, and relatively high incomes, now is about the cheapest life will be for you for the next 2-3 decades.

You should be plowing as much cash into that foundation as possible so that when life gets pricier you can dial the savings back some and still have it compounding for you.

[Nancy]

Your last two lines are the most concerning. You are not comfortable. Does he want to learn more and do more? In what way do you feel he is ‘unrealistic’?

Have you put any numbers on paper? Does he agree with it?

I agree with a bit of Dave Ramsey and pick some of the great Choosefi podcasts and see if he will dig into listening!

I know the “early years” of the podcast the most and had So much info on starting. See if he ‘catches the bug’!

If he doesn’t in a year or two, you may have to think hard on what You can accept before having a child.

He can come a long way quickly – if you’re teamed up on it

[Jamie]

I totally understand HCOL locations and how hard it all can feel.
My recommendation:

-Each of you sign up for 401k enough to receive the employer match. Choose simple investment options (index funds).

– Reduce expenses as much as you can.

You should each put all extra split half into Emergency fund and half against student loans (him)/401k you.

When E-fund is fully funded (3 months of mandatory expenses), all goes to student loans until paid off, then 401k.

When all this is done, check back for next steps!

[Carrie]

You said nothing about a realistic budget. I think everything you have listed is feasible if you are both on the same page and budget.

Your rent is reasonable. I personally like the 60/30/10
Budget method.

I would look at your expenses and see if that is how you spend and if it’s not tweak until it is.

Honestly writing what you spend down or use a program like quicken to record all your transactions will tell you a lot about your situation.

[Meme]

In order to get your FI number, we need your expenses (x25)
Once you calculated your spending, trim whatever that doesn’t bring you joy.

And go from there

[Author]

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