[Kitty]

My grandmother has been living in a nursing home for over 7 years. This weekend she was taken to the hospital for a lung infection.

The hospital called today letting us know that she’s not eating and want us to go over tomorrow to sign something that allows them not to have to keep her alive.

She’s 99 years old with dementia; haven’t recognized anyone for at least 7 years.

I think allowing her to go makes the most sense.

I want to understand what my financial responsibilities are given she’s been living at the nursing home through Medicaid and I assume the same for the hospital.

We’re in NY and she doesn’t have an estate.

(My parents, aunt and uncle have all passed.)

Appreciate any knowledge can share.

[Elizabeth]

Ooh, I’m so sorry. Coming from a health care angle, is she receiving hospice care? If not, I’d highly recommend an evaluation.

They can help you with the paperwork for DNR/DNI as well.

[Keilen]

I’m a nurse in PA with a mom on Medicaid. Yes by all means sign a DNR, comfort measures only. NO feeding tube! Yes morphine infusion. Allow her to pass comfortably.

She led a very long life, hopefully it was a good life.

She may pass at the hospital or be returned to the nursing home.
I assume after she passes you will chose a funeral home and rather to have her buried or cremated.

That cost will be yours. Cremation without service I believe runs around $2400.

Definitely suggest allowing her death to be posted online by the funeral home (for genealogy purposes that helps leave a “paper trial” that she existed).

Ultimately I wish you peace in her passing.
If she doesn’t have an estate then there isn’t anything to be sold.
A copy of her death certificate will need sent to Medicare.

I assume the nursing home should be able to guide you thru the process.

[Keith]

I’m sorry that you are going through this! My mom passed in July 2025 and was on Medicaid as well. She has prepaid her burial expenses, so I was only responsible for a few added things at the burial.

If she has a bank account sill open, I would leave it open and you need to make sure someone else’s name is on the account.

My mom’s account had my name and my aunt’s name as joint owners.

If you don’t leave the account open and need to cash/deposit anything then they will not without an account. She received a refund from the nurshing home, so we just deposited without any troubles.

If you don’t have the account then it has to go through probate.

My mom didn’t have anything of value, so we didn’t do probably since she was on Medicaid.

Don’t be surprised, if you start getting messages/letters from a attorney firm “Phillips & Cohen, Associates LTD.

I got several wanting me to fill out LOTS of info, since they had been hired by debt collectors (my mom didn’t have any debt or money).

I told then NO and they were scum trying to get money from a dead person’s family. Haven’t heard from then in about a month.

[Mia]

Does she have any assets at all? Bank account? Car, house? If so, Medicaid may come after them posthumously.

[Scott]

Just read everything before you sign anything. Do you have a Power of Attorney for your grandmother?

If not that would be the first step imo.

[Lisa]

I’m not sure how you’d have a financial obligation here. It seems like they would charge Medicaid and if she does, her debt to the hospital seems like it would be waived if there are no assets to pay for it.

[Anna]

I just want to offer some advice based on experience.. make sure your grandma is actually as sick as they say before agreeing to anything.

A hospital in Arizona told my family to say goodbye to my grandma (who also had dementia) because they said she had covid and was near death.

My aunts took her out of the hospital to put her on hospice at home, and she wasn’t at all ill, didn’t even have a cold.

[Jessica]

It sounds to me (ER nurse in NJ) that they want to talk about end of life care and signing a Do Not Resuscitate order which would let them allow her to pass away.

If this isn’t signed they will ask about putting in a feeding tube to provide nutrition.

There shouldn’t be anything about the financial aspect. They should have all her insurance info from the paperwork from the nursing home.

I also second the the suggestion for a hospice referral which should be covered under both Medicare and Medicaid.

I am so sorry for you going through this.

[Johnny]

I’m sorry you are going through this situation. You want to make sure that you aren’t signing anything that assumes any financial responsibility for your grandmother.

Read everything they want you to sign.

[Suzanne]

The financial aspect of her care should not become your responsibility in this situation.

It’s a question of ethics.

[Catherine]

If she doesn’t have an estate, and been on Medicare there is no responsibility to anyone.

[Cheryl]

Does she have a living will? Does the nursing home have a living will she may have furnished them? These are questions I would be asking to help me in making a decision for hospice care.

An infection is treatable. My experience is if placed on hospice in hospital, it is covered by Medicaid.

At least that is what happened with my uncle a couple of months ago.

Very sorry – these situations are so hard.

[Erin]

It’s a DNR which means do not resuscitate if she stops breathing. It means they would not try to revive her or do CPR.

It might feel cruel to implement but in terms of a person that elderly being put through the rigors of chest compressions in addition to dementia, it might be looked at as merciful by allowing her a natural death.

After that you’d want to get several copies of a death certificate (which takes several days — you get it from either the health dept or the office of Vital Records in your town, then you want to look for a will she may have created.

Even if she has no will you’ll want to consult with an estate attorney to see how to complete a final tax return for her and possibly pay off creditors.

They will consult with you for free and tell you how to handle everything. Hang in there, it’s going to be bumpy for a bit but it will get better.

The whole process of closing out her affairs will take a couple years.

[Paige]

I’m sorry, and I think you’re being very practical. Unless you signed a guarantee for the hospital or nursing home, you are not responsible for the costs.

[Cathie]

Do not sign anything as a guarantor.
As long as you do not sign anything as a guarantor, You will not be responsible for any of her bills- her estate will be responsible.

If she has no estate all creditors are out of luck.

[Lena]

I’m so sorry you’re having to do this alone. If you haven’t had a nursing home bill in 7 years, I doubt you get a hospital bill now. Something about up to 100 days.

I hope you get the answers you need.

[Brittany]

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I have a similar situation, but in Ga. My mom was in a nursing home for 7 years. Medicaid and Medicare paid for her stay at the nursing home and all stays at the hospital as well.

When she got an infection and had to go to the hospital we ultimately made the decision to begin hospice care and make her as comfortable as possible.

Highly recommend hospice btw. My mom also didn’t have an estate. Usually with Medicaid specifically, you (or her, or someone with authority) signs something saying that by having Medicaid you understand that once the person passes away, their estate belongs to Medicaid after that.

So, they can be “paid back” so to speak.

Lots of circumstances within that, but all that to say, if she doesn’t have an estate, then nothing is owed by her or you.

[Sheela]

When patients can’t make decision for themselves, any surviving family
members are asked to make decisions on behalf of the patient.

It has nothing to do with financial responsibility. You don’t need to worry about it.

[Kimberly]

Some states have filial responsibility laws (I’m only personally familiar with California’s as a non-attorney).

I know New Jersey has some filial laws but I don’t know about NY.

It’s worth a Google at least to see if the legal landscape makes it likely for them to pursue financial support from

relatives. Of course you want to make her comfortable but I understand that you might be concerned about the finances

[Jeanne]

Are you her next of kin and the only person to sign off on a DNR or MOLST? If this is all they want signed then there is zero financial responsibility especially since she has already been established in a nursing home. You’re not taking anything on.

They need family to sign off on not giving life saving measures. Please keep in mind not all nursing homes in NY offer hospice, but only palliative care.

You may have to move her to another facility for hospice and for that you would be financially responsible because if her insurance did not approve that you would be signing the paperwork at hospice admission.

I worked in both areas in your state.

[Author]

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