[USER]

I’ve been thinking about getting a new job for a while now. I’m currently 100% remote and my company is extremely flexible when it comes to my schedule.

I’m able to take my kid to and from school, go to appointments etc without any issues at all.

I’m considering getting a job that is hybrid where I can be in the office part of the time because I miss the interaction.

I’m worried that I won’t find a company with the same sort of flexibility (I’m not sure how common that actually is).

I’m mainly concerned about school pickup. I would have to leave in the early afternoon, but I’d of course finish my workday at home.

And obviously this would be a daily thing, not just the occasional appointment.

How and when do I bring this up to prospective employers without scaring them off? (“Hey just so you know, I have a kid and I need to leave EVERYDAY to pick him up from school.

Are you ok with that?”) Or am I just overthinking this? When he was younger it wasn’t an issue because he had daycare and I would pick him up when I was off work, but now he’s too old for daycare and I don’t have anyone to help.

For some reason it just feels like this would be frowned upon, that it’s my “problem” to figure out and that I’m basically asking for a huge favor.

My questions specifically are: When should I bring this up (early in the process, during interview, after job offer?)

And what do I say (do I ask a vague “how flexible are you with the work schedule” or should I be very specific?).

In case it’s helpful to you…aside from missing the interaction with people, the other reason I want a new job is because I feel like I’ve hit a ceiling in my current company and there’s not much room for growth.

Thank you!!

[Heather]

Don’t do it! Even if a company says it’s no issue, it will be! Stay where your flexibility is. The other side is not greener.

I learned the hard way.

No amount of money or fake freedom is worth it! If you currently have freedom and flexibility you enjoy it will be tough to match!

[Natalie]

Yeah. I wouldn’t leave a remote company for a hybrid. I work for a company that was remote and now it’s 100% in office.

I’m a single parent and it’s nightmare

[Erin]

I’m curious how old kids are that are in between being able to go to day care and being able to be home alone.

I’m asking this as someone who is 50 with no children and came home from school alone for hours starting at age 9.

They called us “latch key kids” back in the 80s.

[Rayl]

Interview. Be up front about your needs. If an employer passes on you, that wasnt the right culture anyway.

Meanwhile do not give any indication at your current employer that you are considering your options.

If you dont interview, then you dont get another job offer period. It’s like when you never ask the question, then the answer is always “no”.
You have nothing to lose by interviewing.

If you do get an offer, it doesnt mean you have to take it. It just means you have a choice.

[Diya]

I wouldn’t do it either tbh. Find other ways to stimulate the social interaction that you’re lacking. remote work as a parent is incredibly valuable.

The time that you’ll spend commuting and the additional stress coordinating drop off and pick are not worth it IMHO.

This is especially important when the child is younger.

As the child gets older, dependent on where you are they can become more independent over time.

I’m a single parent that just got laid off and trying to find a remote role is a unicorn.

[Carly]

If you’re determined to be back in the office… most school offer after care for a price.

Check with the school first, most have early drop off around 6:45am and late pick up at 6pm

[Annie]

🛑 STOP! Don’t do it!! My job was 100% on-site. We could “flex time” as long as we were working 80 hours per 2 week pay period, attending all meetings, deadlines met, and accessible between 8 – 4 by phone or email unless we were taking PTO or put Out of Office in our calendar.

I took a “hybrid” job. 1 day on-site. Must be logged in at 8am.

Must take 30 min lunch between 11 – 1 depending on scheduled meetings.

Must be online until 4:30pm. Must have written permission before flexing time.

I had more flexibility being 100% onsite.

[Gina]

If WFH is hard, here are some ideas that I do and some other ideas that might help:

– I meet friends who are also self employed, remote or hybrid at a cafe to work for the day

– invite friends and colleagues to work at my home, and vice versa

– Rent a work space for a day and work there with others and network, but also is a way to get work done in a different space

– if I was remote, I’d see if the team can do in person team retreat but remember it can be “awkward” meeting people in person

– if you can not move and you have to be at a specific computer or location, can you try taking different kind of breaks? Walks with friends who can meet up?

Just some ideas off the top of mind.

[Donna]

It really may depend a lot on what type of job you do. Some would probably allow the flexibility of letting you take your lunch break at pickup time and return to work.

May or may not allow work from home the rest of the day. That is a pretty big ask.

Also, depending on the age(s) of children, most often you are not permitted to care for anyone while working.

So, if they are younger, that may be a concern.

[Mary]

Keep your current job and consider joining a book club or walking group or fitness classes or art classes or anything else that aligns with your interests.

Companies are becoming less flexible again, and you’d be risking the flexibility you do have.

[Lindsey]

Corporate offices are moving away from flexibility. I agree with others that I would look for the social interaction outside of the job and stay with your flexible position.

[Nancy]

Does the school have an after care program?
Are you a single parent?

Honestly – you have the golden job for Many parents. If you leave, I’ll take it!

That flexibility is VERY Uncommon. If growth at work is that important then you have to consider that another job will expect full days in office during their time windows.

If your career move is that important have plans for how others can handle pickup.

Sick days, days the school is suddenly closed. Etc. if they happen on an in-office day and you’re expected to be there it will be frowned upon. Have plans.

Sure, if it’s hybrid you can ask how flexible and if you’re expected in the office 3 days a week, what if you do 4 but leave by 2 to pick up your kid and finish the day at home.

See their reaction. A lot can matter on how many meetings you’re expected in, how many customers you’re expected to help, etc.

to never be able to attend a meeting before 9 am or between the hours of 3 and 4 etc, can be a deal breaker for many jobs.

If you can’t get backup help for all you need, then maybe waiting until middle school is better.

You honestly have the dream of many working parents.
I haven’t worked for two years because I Do have to do a late drop-off, I have to pick up daily.

I may get called for pickup at any time.

I haven’t even attempted to find an employer that would allow that as a new employee – but my daughter’s schedule and needs are my priority.

Even though it means living partially off savings.
And an FYI.

Middle school, if they are into sports or extra curriculars, there may be conflicts too.

Find your tribe of other parents to help each other out
Good luck!

[Sara]

Can you find a shared workspace instead for the social interaction during the work period?

I’m 100% remote (well before covid) and my coworkers that were hybrid are being called back into the office on a more frequent basis.

[Teresa]

It will be hard to find something with that type of flexibility.

If your current job covers your expenses then stay until you no longer must fiddle with your child.

[Melissa]

That flexibility is rare! I work in healthcare. When my kids were younger it was hell.

I had one who was sick fairly often and then as a teenager went through drug addiction.

It’s very hard with no one to help. That is the sucky part of single parenting (well one of these) you can’t change your career if you have any flexibility.

You can move on after they get older. Try socializing by going to a group work place while they are at school or something.

Good luck.

[Amanda]

Stay where you have the flexibility and consider renting a desk at a shared workspace (e.g. WeWork, Spaces) a few days per week so you get some social recharging.

[Preston]

I think you need to decide what your priority is. You can’t always have your cake and eat it too, and the grass isn’t always greener.

Maybe you have hit an income ceiling, and what that provides your life is worth it. But you have to decide.

I wouldn’t bring it up until the offer stage for what it’s worth.

[Cara]

I agree with others saying not to leave your current job. It sounds like in this season of your life your current job is exactly what you and your family need.

However, as your children become more independent you can consider a job change.

If you need more interaction, consider volunteer work, faith based groups, or a weekly class like yoga or spin class.

There are lots of options for interaction that would be your choice and not mandated by a boss. Good luck

[Alana]

For some perspective, I’m currently doing the opposite. I work in healthcare, so remote is not a possibility.

But my current role is not at all flexible in terms of shift times, taking last-minute days off (holidays booked a year in advance), etc.

Now that my kids are similar age to yours, they can no longer go to daycare, but are not old enough to stay at home alone until we get home from work (how does everyone else manage?!)

I went to a couple of different employers in my local area, and just told them…I’m having trouble with child care, I’m looking for casual work, only during school hours (short shifts, only want to work 5 hours per day while kids are in school, a couple of days per week).

So far it’s looking promising, I’ve got several shifts lined up already, and will likely be looking to cut back hours at my “regular” job.

It means a cut in pay, no government pension, and no benefits. But the flexibility in our lives right now I think will be priceless.

(I live in Canada, so not having health care as a benefit doesn’t really matter.

For now I still have benefits at my first job, and hubby does as well). Hopefully my boss is not in this group, as I haven’t shared with him yet!

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