[USER]

I’ve been struggling with feeling financially behind lately. We were on a good trajectory, but 12 years ago we had a child with extra medical needs.

This forced me to have to quit my job, halving our income.

We ate through our savings and found ourselves $60,000 in medical debt. We have made progress in the last few years, but I find myself constantly worrying.

My husband (41) earns about $100,000. I (40) just started back to work last year part time, bringing in about $9,000.

I’ve always been a work horse, and it’s a source of embarrassment, but I have to work around our child’s therapies and constant calls from school.

We both work in education.

We still owe 99k on our mortgage for a house worth about 290k. Owe 15k on a car, but are hoping to have that paid off within 18 months.

We have 104k in retirement accounts. 19k in an emergency fund.

My husband will have about $2,000/mo in pension if he didn’t put in any more years at his job.

If he finishes out the next 18 years with them, he would have a pension of at least $4,900/mo. excluding any possible raises.

How far behind are we? Is it salvageable at this age? We are currently just doing our best to max out our Roth Ira accounts.

I would go back to work full-time, but it would require taking our daughter out of her weekly therapies.

I want to be financially secure since she will most likely stay living with us as an adult, but I also want her to get the benefits of therapy so that she can live her best potential physical and mental life.

[Lisa]

That is an awesome pension!! What does he do that he gets such a great pension? Will he get social security too?

[Boni]

Are you able to qualify to be a paid caregiver for your child? I don’t know the details but I have heard of others doing this.

I believe you would go to work for a company that would pay you to care for and take your child to appointments.

They bill your insurance for the payment.

[Lori]

God bless you, keep and strengthen you for your focus and comittment to your daughter. In my book, you are way ahead of most and working to take care of what matters most.

Fret not about it all and keep working your priorities.

I promise you, all will be well.

[Van]

Not sure where are you living but in some states like CO you can get paid taking care of your medical need kids.

[Jennifer]

It looks like you’ve already received some great advice so from one special needs mom to another, here’s a reminder that you’re doing great!

I also had to quit my job due to all of the therapies, medical appointments and hospital stays – it’s honestly exhausting.

Very few people understand the worry of having a special needs child and the constant fear of who is going to care for them when we pass and who is going to take care of us when we’re no longer able?

I’ve resorted to just doing my best every day. It’s all I can do and I’m okay with that.

is your child eligible for MA? Grants? Waivers? That could be something to look into…

[Schintgen]

I’m all about my money, wealth, retirement, but ultimately you have to put people first.

You are doing really well given your circumstances with a special needs child.

Here’s something to think about. You owe $99k on your home. That seems like a lot right?

If you pause paying any extra into savings and put it all towards the car and pay it off in 12m let’s say, then you take that car payment amount once it’a gone and put it towards your mortgage (make sure it’s an extra principal only payment!) I bet you’d have your house paid off in 3-5 years.

My point being don’t always think about saving money only in terms of how much you make of have in your account.

Being vehicle and mortgage free saves you a ton of money lowering your overall cost of living and freeing your finances to do other things

[Robert]

It does indeed sound like you are caught between a rock and a hard place; the first thing I would ask is, have you utilized all the local state and federal resources that are available to someone with a child who has special needs?

Once that question answered, to turn to your next question “is it salvageable at this age?”…

I really don’t see why not. Granted, you and your husband may not achieve FAT FIRE; and there’s a strong possibility that you will both be working into your late 60s; but a combination of frugality; pension income; and income from Social Security; as well as from your Roth IRA;

I would assume would enable at least LEAN FIRE; by the time you were both in your late 60s.

Also, if you have not already done so, a special needs trust will need to be established for your child; and I also think there’s some sort of trust that can be made available in order for her to have assets and yet not be penalized by the loss of things such as Medicaid and SSI.

I Understand your desire to want to go back to work full-time, but that might mean taking your daughter out of the therapies that are currently assisting her; so, I guess my question is, is remote work available for your profession?

If not, can you get trained something that will allow you to work remotely?

[Barron]

First, you’re not behind. Taking care of your child and prioritizing the health and safety of your family is important.

No one should judge you for decisions made around disability and medical priorities.

Also working in education is great and I hope you’re earning pension or other retirement credits.

Good luck and I’m rooting for your family.

[David]

What about an off hour or evening job? Potentially a work from home teaching role. Tutoring after school?

Keep up the great work!!

[Saunders]

To salvage it you would have to go back to full time work and ask your parents or your husband’s parents to take care of your child now older.

Reduces expenses, stop buying anything on loans or credit cards.

You’re getting wrecked on those payback loans and interests.

Always buy outright.

[Author]

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