[USER]

Hello everyone. I need advice not judgement.
My husband has had 3 major surgeries over the last year. Last one being in November and he is still recovering unable to work.

We have depleted everything we have at this point. I have maxed out our credit cards, cashed in his annuity, and all of our savings is gone just trying to pay the bills and survive.

I have me, my husband, and 2 teenage boys in school. We do get food stamps and help with our electric from the state but that’s all we can get from them right now. He doesn’t qualify for disability either.

I have taken about 7 years off of traditional work because I was a full time caregiver for a family member with dementia who has recently passed away.

I was making $932 a month being paid by the va to take care of them.

I have been looking for work however I have several issues coming up. 1) I lost 60 lbs over the last few months and have zero clothes that fit.

Literally zero outside of pjs and 1 pair of jeans so it’s hard to dress for everyday so interviews are impossible. 2) I have sent my resume out to every restaurant and casino within a 45 min drive of my house both north and south of me with no luck so far.

I have no other experience except being a server, that’s all I have ever done since I have been 14 and I’m 43 now.

When you have been out of the business for so long no one wants to give you a chance and no one outside of that industry so far will give me a chance without experience.

Honestly even my underwear are to big. Before you suggest to go to goodwill or thrift shops I have $30 in my bank.

That’s it and although my bills for this month are paid for next month is coming soon.

Anyone have any advice or suggestions please because I am seriously having a nervous breakdown at this point.

I have never been in this position before as we always made good money and we didn’t expect the complications he has had.

Thank you

[Debbie]

I think there is a charity that provides work clothes for women having to go back to work.

Google it.

[Annabelle]

Please contact one or more local churches near you. They may be able to help with everything from clothes to jobs.

It may take visiting a few to find help but you’d be surprised how much they can do.

Job wise: at the moment you need anything. Some jobs don’t require much of a wardrobe. Things like overnight stocking at large retail stores or warehouses. Janitorial work is another great option.

If you can get together a few outfits, consider applying as a paraprofessional at your local school district.

They are nearly always shorthanded and don’t require more than a high school diploma to start.

Please post your clothing sizes and state you live in in case anyone can offer good secondhand clothing or job leads.

[Rebeca]

Being a server gives u lots of skills : customer service, quick thinking, trouble shooting, stand on your feet for a long time, hustle, organize, cleaning to state food handler, you got lots of skills that transfer to diff jobs

[Allison]

Get a lawyer that works with social security disability most work with pay when receive. Look into bankruptcy.

I had to do in same situation.

[Amy]

Go to your local Facebook page and let folks know what you need. I don’t know where you live sounds like big city since you mentioned casinos.

You might want to look into working home health or Waiver … I don’t know what it is called where you are I work as my youngest brother (special needs) Waiver person his twin (also Special Needs) has a non family member as his waiver person.

We assist them with their daily living etc and it pays decent enough.

Good Luck!!! I know life is hard right now but don’t get discouraged. I’ve been in your shoes with my husband unfortunately he ended up dying of Cancer in the end 16 months ago.

[Tammy]

Sweetie you just stated you were a care giver. That just might be your salvation. In home care for the elderly pays pretty decent and the shifts are fairly flexible too.

They always need reliable people and if you’re willing to do over night shifts they do pay more.

Just do a resume stating that you have worked as a care giver for how ever long and that you’ve also got the experience of caring for your husband after surgery.

Also look around for people looking for a person to care for their children. This work may be easier to find.

[Kristie]

For clothes-
Call your local food bank for referrals to local groups that offer clothing . Our local food pantry also runs a thrift store and they give clothing vouchers once a year.

Local churches may also have clothing closets for women returning to work.

Your local Buy Nothing group may be able to help out.

Maybe put out on your personal Facebook that you are willing to do odd jobs or elder care for the usual hourly rate in your area.

[Kathleen]

I manage a thrift store owned by my church. We would give you free clothing. Regarding your work experience.

Don’t put dates for jobs you have had. Get your foot in the door and explain at the interview.

[Jean]

Your teens should have jobs.
You can sell your clothing you can no longer wear.

Also sell anything around your house you do not want or need.

Those are things that can happen right away to raise some extra cash.

[Patti]

Ask a doctor to see if you can get a medical social worker assigned to your husband/ family they may have ideas that you need,
I went through a medical crisis and was assigned a medical social worker and it helped me tremendously

[Sharon]

With your experience as a caregiver, look for companies that specialize in in home care.

(A family I know had a “helper” that came into their parent’s home almost daily to cook, clean, and just assist in any way needed.).

Also, would any adult care homes in your area have openings?

I’m thinking of nursing homes, whether county run or independent ones.

[Val]

I lost a lot of weight a couple of years back and luckily I had been a dressmaker so I was able to alter my clothes. I would do it for you but I can’t.

Maybe someone in your community who is handy with a sewing machine might be kind enough to help.

Good luck with everything

[Rebecca]

Use the experience in get work with another home bound person.

I did it with my dad and interviews coming up for those type of jobs

[Lisa]

I’m so sorry you are going thru this! Medical situations are difficult in many ways. Is it possible for you to make deliveries or Uber?

Last year my ex-husband made more driving for Uber than I did as a full time RN.

We have a “Dress for Success” non-profit in our area for females trying to get jobs.

Perhaps there is one near you.

[Evelyn]

I’m not sure where you live but I agree with others that the buy nothing groups can be fairly helpful. You can post what it is that you are looking for.

Work clothes, additional food etc.

Food pantries are a wonderful source to supplement your grocery budget. Do you have any temp agencies near you? How about blood banks.

I know that it might sound distasteful but you would help others and yourself at the same time. They pay anywhere from 700-1000 for plasma per month.

In addition I just want to say that you are extremely strong or you wouldn’t have made it this far.

I wish you all the luck in the world

[Julene]

Many churches have programs to help with clothing. If you have a local mission, they may also have programs available to help with clothing as well as job possibilities.

And if you have an opportunities incorporated they will have all of that and more including vouchers to help with needed items and food

[Lorraine]

Yes, find a Dress for Success group. Ask city social workers. They will have clothes for job interviews, first couple of weeks of work.

Contact all your utilities and explain the problem. They will have programs that help you out.

The city social workers should also know of other programs.

Don’t pay any medical bills for your husband that you don’t have to.

Pay $10 a month – it’s not like they can take back the care they have already provided.

[Phyllis]

Generally, a clothing bank in every area. I donated lots of beautiful clothes to our clothing bank.

It’s in a church and it’s one or two days a week so check around to see what Church has clothing for you.

[Lisa]

I’m sorry for all you are having to deal with. Does your area have a “buy nothing” facebook group?

You can privately message the admin or make a post yourself about your needs, such as interview/work clothing.

My own community has been great helping others through tough times.

I wish you all the best.

[Stephanie]

Another idea is to walk dogs in your area and do pet sitting and house cleaning and childcare in someone else’s home because you don’t need the same kind of license if you do it in their home.

[Author]

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