[USER]

What are your thoughts on supporting your married mother in law financially as she is retired (working only a few days a week), has no mortgage anymore in our expensive county and no debt?

My acquaintance judged my husband and I for not doing that.

We have 2 young kids (one is special needs), a house that we live in (mortgage), a house that we rent out (that doesn’t leave us much sometimes after paying the property manager and the bills. Mortgage).

husband is the only one that is working and makes 6 figures (I will be getting a part time job this year in order to still be there for our kids).

(When it comes to financial independence, my husband hopes to have enough to have a good retirement and retire at 60, no later than 65).

[Christine]

It could be cultural for her. I’d take it with a grain of salt and do you.

[Charlotte]

Get new acquaintances or at least stop talking to this one about your finances.

Did you indicate that your MIL needs financial help?

[Fisher]

Gently, don’t let this person’s comments live rent free in your head any longer.

It sounds like MIL is not in any dire financial position, if that were to change you could reassess what aid (financial or other) you guys are in a position to give.

No, we would not just give to give.. much rather at a minimum prefer to wait until there is a genuine need.

Plus, if her job is low stress, it likely will extend her life and quality of life to have something to keep her occupied.

Personally, I’d probably distance myself from acquaintance/not talk personal life stuff with them.

They sound opinionated and honestly rude.

[Sarah]

Obviously there are different cultural norms, but speaking from the American perspective, you aren’t obligated to financially support an adult who’s not in your household.

[Khefri]

This seems like a cultural choice as many cultures engage with intergenerational, living or support of those that raised them.

[Jenny]

Is your MIL asking for help? Since you have a special needs child, and don’t have more to give, don’t worry about it.

Don’t share your finances with other people.

[Elizabeth]

Tell her “You do you” and move on to other friends and acquaintance’s. Also, don’t talk to her about your finances.

It is none of her business.

[Jenny]

Ppl will always have an opinion & judge…none of their business. They’re probably just jealous they have to fork over money and you don’t.

Ignore and live your life

[Andrew]

Neither my MIL or my mother need help. If they did, they would get it without question, but I’m not gonna spend my life trying to backpay either of them.

How asinine of a thought. “Hey, remember T-ball back in 94? Here’s a grand for doing that.”

Never take criticism from anyone you wouldn’t seek advice from.

[Cathie]

Why are you sharing your family’s financial situation and choices with anyone, especially an acquaintance?

Tell her that her input is not needed and ignore her.

[Author]

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