[Mike]

Parents – how did your working situations change or stay the same once you had kids? Any major financial decisions made during those initial years?

Any recommendations or experience you can share to families just starting out with young kids?

[Korey]

My husband and I married at 22 in college. We waited to get pregnant until he had a job offer his senior year to come work once he graduated, we were due with our first when he would have been working for one month in his career.

We waited so we would have a full salary to raise a baby on, rather than incomes from our student jobs.

I worked up until the month before I had my first and I’ve been a stay at home mom ever since.

My husband works as an engineer.
It’s been the best thing ever for our kids.

They get a lot of time with us (since I’m home during the day I could do most of the chores during naps and errands so when my husband gets home, he gets immediate playtime with the kids instead of needing to jump in with chores).

No scrambling when kids are sick.

My youngest was born 3.5 months early and his 4 months in the hospital and 3 years of therapy to save him would have been a huge problem if we needed me to work.

Since I was with him 24/7 and able to observe him closely and have tons of time to research his medical situation, I caught things the doctors did not and saved his life three times.

If I wasn’t a stay at home mom and had to go back to work at three months of maternity leave, I would have missed saving his life at month 4. Also, he had a feeding disability and could not take a bottle, only nurse.

If I had had to go back to work, his doctors would have had to surgically place a feeding tube into his stomach.

Since I was always with him, I was able to stumble through teaching him to eat by taking him to a million different therapies that may or may not have helped, but in the end, I got him nursing.

Kind of an extreme situation, but having one parent available to the kids during the day I think is so important.

Also, though there were times it may have been helpful, I’ve never had my husband have a second job or side hustle.

Our boys need their dad around everyday and the extra money wouldn’t be worth them not seeing him as much.

My big advice is get a hospital indemnity policy any year you are pregnant, I have so many friends including me who had major things go wrong during pregnancy or delivery and the money you get paid for a hospital stay is very helpful.

For my second born, since I spent one month in the hospital myself waiting for him to be born (my water broke at 22 weeks) I got paid $7k and since my son was in intensive care for 4 months (they only pay for 30 days of hospital care) we got $14k paid to us for him.

$22k was extremely helpful in managing that situation and it went fast.

[Elyzabeth]

I’m resigned to not saving much money while I’m paying for daycare for multiple kids

[Shyla]

Things I would recommend – working for an employer with good health benefits, parental leave and flexible hours.

You might make less money but these things will make a huge difference.

If one parent wants to stay home, don’t do it for financial reasons but truly if this is what the person wants.

Being a stay at home parent has a very negative impact on your salary growth if you later decide to return to the workforce.

Many parents cannot return when they want to – eg when kids are in school. In addition if the earning spouse dies or loses their income, have a plan in place for that.

I’ve seen countless stay at home moms try to return to the workforce during hard times and had no luck as well as many who had a spouse pass away unexpectedly or be faced with divorce.

Young kids are super hard and put a lot of strain on a marriage.

[Monica]

We always lived in a home that we could afford on one income. There may be times where flexibility to leave the workforce is the best option for your family at that time.

Not saying it’s for everyone, it just helped us as parents to sleep at night.

[India]

We have two toddlers, almost exactly two years apart. We’ve maintained the same F/T employment since having kids.

Our toddlers are both in daycare F/T while we work. We do not have a strong support system nearby.

One of the hardest things for me personally has been navigating the no daycare days, wellness appointments, and last-minute stuff like illnesses while working.

Hubby and I earn similarly yet I have a slightly more flexible schedule, so I tend to take on the bulk of those scenarios.

It’s A LOT to try to remain a solid employee and also show up for your kids.

I’m lucky that most of my team is in a similar life phase and my boss is understanding, but I imagine it’d be much harder to navigate under different circumstances.

[Brian]

We waited as long as we could in life… confirming we wanted to have a child, got fully out of debt, strong careers/incomes and front loaded retirement investments.

Just hit the goal of 50K in little guy’s 529 account when he turned 2. Big fans of Montessori preschools… all in about 2K a month there.

Drop off from 7 am to 830, with pick up between 330 and 6 gives us plenty of flexibility.

They also offer catered lunches and snacks, which help as well.

We are definitely on the one and done kid plan, going great so far.

[Jule]

The biggest financial impact if both parents work is deciding on child care. Even if one is working from home, you should still plan to have someone watch the baby full time while you work.

That’s the biggest line item on the budget.

[Caro]

Working situation unchanged. I do work as a hospital contractor like 20-30 hours a week whereas my husband works like 50 but they’re more predictable hours. Daycare is $$.

Second kid is medically complex (just a little) so savings rates are lower and I’m actually going to use the HSA money this year.

I mark all the teacher workdays and we alternate who takes off on them. And I will put drs apts on them too.

For example Good Friday is a teacher workday next month and we’re getting passports that day and having a family day.

We don’t do a lot of trips right now, short weekend trips are the best. So that saves money. Mine are 2&4.

Will prob get more adventurous when they’re like 5&7. Still waiting to see the 4 year old still isn’t too mature heh.

[Jenn]

Before having kids I was a workaholic! Didn’t think that would change. Once my first was born I would have lived under a bridge just to stay home with her.

But my husband was building a business and relied completely on my income.

I went back FT but didn’t pick up extra shifts. When my son was born less than 2 years later I switched to 4 days a week and have stayed there.

I really do enjoy my work, and don’t want to stop working, but I also enjoy having some extra time with my kids (and time to tackle the never ending to do list that starts when you have kids).

You will find your balance!

[Amy]

We switched from being on the same shift to opposite shifts to decrease daycare costs. We did that for 11 long years.

While it wasn’t easy it had it’s pros and cons.

[Michelle]

I worked part time (80% FTE) after having my first two kids. I recently transitioned to being a SAHM, my oldest is 3 and my youngest is just a bit older than 1, and I’m pregnant with our third.

It’s been a bit of a transition to not working professionally, but eventually when the kids are a bit older I would be interested in working part time (1 day a week?)

if I can. It’s been really great to have more time with my kids at this age.

In terms of finances, we were a bit past coast FIRE and my husband will keep working full time until we are FI.

I think me quitting delayed hitting some milestones by a few years or so, so not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things.

Then he will drop down to part time work.

[Rachel]

Our work situation didn’t change. We both work full time and have utilized childcare. It’s definitely expensive, but has worked great for us.

We both have flexible employers and fantastic health insurance.

If we didn’t have that support, raising our son and working would be much more difficult.

[Author]

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