[USER]

Thoughts on how to split income once married
So I (28F) recently decided to pursue my own business and part of the reason was because I had a good amount saved from working in corporate.

My partner has a good paying job but did not save nearly as much as me (think about 4 times less).

If we were to get married, how would you recommend splitting finances? Would the amount we have in savings impact your thoughts?

Additional context: The business is new and I’m doing it more as a passion project.

I previously planned on having us split proportional to our income but now that I’m persuing my own business it feels unfair to have him pay almost all expenses for my decision, especially since I have significantly more in savings and accounted for the gap on my end but not his.

We do not have kids or debt. His income is more than enough to cover both of our expenses but it would delay his track towards retirement.

[Smith]

How much do you have saved at 28? We need a little perspective because if you went to university you have only been working for a few years.

If you are together for more than a year you are considered married when it comes to the division of assets when your relationship fails.

Your question is really more about splitting expenses than actually FIRE.

Once you are married even common law you are splitting 50/50 and you might as well combine incomes and split it down the middle.

I don’t understand why you say “his retirement” once you are married it’s both of your retirement.

Everything you establish once together is 50/50

[James]

Once you’re married, you combine finances—you’re a team now, building a life together.

Pooling your makes things simpler and help you stay on the same page with goals and expenses.

[Marie]

When you are married, it’s one life. It’s “our” life. Your finances should reflect that. All money that comes into the household is now “our” money.

Whatever money you have in retirement should be considered “our” retirement money.

If a wife saved a lot for retirement and the husband didn’t save anything, what would she do– would she say, “sorry Honey, I’m going to travel and eat nice food, but you can’t because you didn’t save.”

Additionally, you and he should set financial your goals, habits, and budget together.

[Landon]

Think of it this way. When you do have kids, are you going to split them 50/50?

If you don’t want to, I recommend combining finances.

[Anca]

When you’re married you’re either 100% in or 100% out. It’s no longer his or mine, it’s ours. You should really have these hard conversations prior to marriage.

Ask me how I know…

For context: We have kids, we homeschool, my husband works full time, I work PT & also own a business. It’s not his or mine, it’s ours.

You need to talk child rearing, retirement plans, finances, your goals (we still do the finance piece at least monthly, and also yearly for a overall assessment)

[Anindita]

Let me tell you a small story from my life.
When I got married, I was earning peanuts while my spouse was earning very well. We still considered everything as our money.

I left my job, moved to a different country for my master’s degree while my spouse continued to work paying all the bills (including my tuition fees and living expenses in a foreign country).

Fast forward to that, after my degree, my earnings increased significantly and surpassed my spouse’s earnings (which also increased) and it’s still all our money.

If you look at just household income, all our steps make sense.

But if we were to split everything, we couldn’t be where we are today.

[Alta]

Personal finance is personal. There is no one correct way to handle money in a marriage that works for all marriages.

Have those difficult discussions with your partner and figure out what works for the two of you.

It is literally no one else’s business.

[Christina]

I’d open a joint account and each put a specific amount, say $5000/mth, into it and all joint expenses come out from this one account while keeping everything else in separate accounts.

[Jennifer]

You should have four accounts. One joint account that you both contribute equal amounts to for expenses. A joint savings account where you also contribute equal amounts to.

Then each of you should have your own savings or checking account.
Women should always be self-sufficient.

Make sure you have your own retirement fund. Never rely on anyone else for your financial well-being because you have no idea what could happen in the future.

Trust me!

[Lara]

The modern marriage may not last very long. So, open a joint account and put money in each month from both sides. Pay all bills from that account.

Don’t be too calculating but also don’t expect your spouse to pay for everything (vice versa).

Most important lesson is have control over your own finances. Too much commingling can be undifficult to untangle if you end up separating.

As for how much to put in, there’s no hard and fast rule. But ask yourself how much you will blame the other person if you separated and had to pay the majority during all those years of marriage.

I personally pay 2/3rds but only because I make 3 times the income.

[Tom]

We never in 40 years split anything except pizza. Everything went into a common account.

We are both retired now and have one credit card we pay off every month from our one checking account.

Out retirement accounts are separate but that’s the IRS rule not ours.

[Owens]

I never understood the whole splitting finances when you are married… I cant imagine going to dinner with my spouse and splitting the bill…

now we both do have our own small accounts that we spend on whatever we want, it’s mostly to purchase gifts for each other or the kids, so that doesn’t come out of the joint account.

But yeah… it’s a partnership.

[Ila]

Don’t marry him if you aren’t 100% together. Sounds like you don’t trust him with money.

This is one of the financial conversations yall need to have up front.

Maybe no one has taught him about money.

[Mala]

Marriage means pooled money — literally legally, leaving out the emotional parts of it.

Are y’all gonna be splitting compensation for labor and chores?

Childbirth and pregnancy? Etc?

[Marin]

We pooled everything together. When we got married I had 40k saved up. We used it to buy our first house, then he floated us while I finished grad school.

If it had been 200k more or something like that then it might have been
a discussion but anything less than that it’s likely all going to work out in the end.

[Marin]

Married couples share finances. The money is not yours or mine. I would give yourself income from the business and the rest goes into your business account with which to keep building the business.

This is in both your interests.

[Etienne]

This is a financial independence page and people are giving you emotional and idealistic advice that has a high likelihood of putting you in a bad financial situation.

Split everything proportional to income, have a shared account and separate accounts.

Most importantly get a PRE NUP.

You don’t have to do anything if you’re ok making an idealistic emotional decision just hope for the best

[Kotey]

Things will never be equal or fair in he partnership if you are splitting things. If you have kids, one person is going to be working a heck of a lot harder than the other, and not making any money… if one of you gets sick… if one of you simply makes more money.

It’s not really about the fairly splitting the dollars that come in, it’s about making a financial plan together, and working towards those goals together.

I was better with money than my husband when we got married, but we’ve worked together, and I’ve gotten him on board with my frugality.

We’re on the same page financially about most things.

He’s been the bread winner for several years while I was at home having babies, but I’m going to be the bread winner here soon.

But our money is combined, because we’re a team, and we provide different things in the relationship.

[Janelle]

I’m a team with my husband, we share goals. Does he support your business? If it takes off and makes you millions are you not going to share, even if he was the one paying the bills while you built it?

It’s just dumb to split if you are committed and have the same goals. And if you aren’t committed and don’t have the same goals, don’t get married.

There have been times I worked and husband was in law school. There’s times he worked and I stayed home with the kids. And times we both worked. It’s always OUR money, it’s always a joint decision how to spend it.

Get a prenup absolutely if there’s a huge disparity. But then combine, and everything grown during the marriage belongs to both of you.

Yeah, if you divorce it will be complicated, but it SHOULD be complicated to unravel a life built together.

And if you’re not building together, just kind of in parallel lives, then just be roommates who sleep together.

[Hicks]

We each put 50% of our paychecks into a shared account for bills. We don’t fight about money.

We also have a prenup. My 401k is mine, his is his. My car is mine, his is his. My debt is mine, his is his.

We aren’t rich, we are middle class. But, making the decision to get a prenuptial or a post-nup while happy will save headaches in the future.

[Tomáš]

Yeah, as everybody are saying … sum it all together and pay all the bills … I will go one step further, after adding it all together pay yourself first (decide together on the amount based on your goals and send it to the investments)

[Author]

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