[USER]

My partner (37) and I (40) just hit a collective $1.3m net worth. My partner makes ~double what I do and we are both frugal people, so now that we’ve been in good jobs the last handful of years (and paid of student loan debt), we’ve tried to put away as much into various retirement accounts as possible.

That being said, we are not married (together 4 years, living together 1 year), so our finances are separate.

Any other unmarried couples out there: how do you all do finances? Completely separate? Joint account where you each deposit $ monthly for bills?

My partner uses “we” when talking about our future FIRE life, but with separate finances (and me earning half), I get nervous.

I’m new to FIRE and while they want to retire ASAP, realistically I’m more FI than RE, so would continue working FT after they RE.

[Cathy]

You are 40 & 37. Been with partner for 4 years and live together but have never talked about marriage.

I’m assuming you’re on the same page about not getting married and just “playing house”.

If there’s no legal commitment (marriage). Neither of you are protected if one of you passes.

Who is your beneficiary on accounts? Who is his beneficiary.
There should definitely be some Wills written up if you want to share your assets with the other if one of you dies.

If not your next of kin gets everything. It can get terribly messy and cost a lot in legal fees.

Whether or not you leave assets to each other, definitely write up a will.

[Noa]

You are right to be nervous. Don’t consider finances joint if you arent married. Are you planning on getting married?

If not, just make your own plan…

[Marco]

Unmarried here (we know teach other since 2 years and moved in since almost 2 years)

Different scenario, I own a business and she is a student so I earn all the money

[Cappiotti]

Prime time for some real discussions. Are you going to get married? Can you rely on each other’s money?

If not married will you set up wills or trusts to benefit each other?
Lots to discuss.

Not legal or financial advice. Just giving you ideas to talk about.

[Brian]

I’m firing for two here, unmarried finances separate, and I pay most of the bills. No bio children, she has 3, and is low income.

She gives me her tax refund to pay off any debts annually, and invest the rest.

She’s covered by my will, as designated beneficiary on my investments, and power of attorney.

[Dave]

Together 8 years, living together 6 years.
When we moved in I was making 5-10x my partner, net worth gap bigger still. I’ve since semi-retired but still 2x income.

We each put $ each month into a joint account to pay for joint expenses.

We’ve adjusted the amounts we each put in and what counted as “joint” as circumstances changed.

[Dew]

Since you’re not married I would look at your net worth purely based on what’s in your own name. Why don’t you two get married?

You realize if one of you pass away you can collect the others spouses social security, if you’re married.

Also, if you’re in a hospital and want to make medical decisions about the other person, you won’t have that ability if you’re unmarried, even if you’ve been together for 50 years.

You may not even be allowed in the room.

[Todd]

A lot of this is based the state that you live in. But do not commingle funds until you are married.

You may need to speak to someone if you both are willing an attorney or counselor

[Author]

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