[USER]

I’d like others thoughts on my situation.
I’m 42 with zero debt, $1.5M in indexed equity investments (VTI + VXUS), and a paid-off home worth $600K. I live in one of Texas’s major cities.

I get a $48K/year military pension (that’s the after-tax amount) which will continue for life, and which increases annually by the rate of inflation.

I also have free lifetime healthcare and dental care from the VA, plus long-term nursing home care via the VA if I ever need it.

I’m a single male with no kids and no ex-wife, but would like to get a long-term girlfriend / wife, and I’m fine with being the sole breadwinner if it works out like that.

I’m undecided about having kids but am leaning toward not doing that.

I currently earn $450K/year as a consultant to a PE firm, but that salary is overly generous for my skillset and only guaranteed through the end of 2026 (it’s part of a buyout package from when the PE firm bought my prior employer).

After 2026, I can probably earn ~$250K per year if I keep working.

My plan is to stay employed through the end of 2026 due to the generous pay, after which I’ll have about $2M in indexed investments.

My math says I can live on about $108K/year (3% x $2M investments = $60K plus my $48K military pension) which comes to $9K/month.

My run-rate spending is about $7K per month, with about $2K being luxuries and $5K core spending (property taxes + HOA, food, car, discretionary medical care I can’t get from the VA, etc).

The thing is, I have generally enjoyed working and have had very interesting jobs both in the military and private sector. I also can’t think of anything I really want to spend money on, as I already have a great home and car.

I previously lived overseas and traveled a ton for work and vacation so don’t feel much of the travel bug.

I’m not sure what I’ll do after 2026 but one idea is to rotate taking time off for 6-24 months with taking interesting jobs for 1-3 years at a time.

I feel like I “solved life” and am wondering what’s next. My friends who did the “married with kids” route don’t seem obviously happier – if anything, they’re under strain.

Maybe that turns around in later life, but in any case I’m not feeling the desire to have kids although I would like to get a long-term romantic partner (I’ve previously had several multi-year relationships but they ended because in each case the other person wanted to have kids).

What am I missing? How would you all approach this, if you were in my shoes?

I feel modestly satisfied but not quite as happy/fulfilled as when I was doing super interesting stuff (military combat deployments, building a business, going to grad school, etc).

I’m interested thoughts and reactions. Flame away, if you need to.

[Allison]

Get a dog. Take dog on dog based travel and adventures.
It’s like having a kid. But 100x better
Don’t come at me.

Kids didn’t fit in my life plans nor did I ever feel the urge or drive to have kids in the plan.

But a dog focused life is sooooo much different. I plan things FOR him.

And that fulfills me in a way I didn’t get living solely for myself

[Lynn]

Try a web search for “value card sort”. Narrow the top values to 3-5. Begin building daily habits that align with those values.

Meaningful action is what makes us feel satisfied and fulfilled which is what it sounds like might be missing for you.

I agree with others that volunteering or building a nonprofit would be an excellent place to put that time.

It’s rewarding and feels great to be able to provide meaningful efforts. Congrats and enjoy!

[Andrea]

You’re doing awesome. Finding a happy healthy relationship can really enhance your life, especially as you head into middle age.

Having someone to share your life with can be very rewarding and fulfilling—IF you find the right person.

[An]

I’m in the exactly same situation with you, I have been traveling on and off for the last 3 years and it’s the best time.

You can do something digital if you want, or not.

But job can wait for you to live life a little. Try it out and see how you feel.

[Ian]

What can really created personal growth and create true value is learning how to be present in scenarios that defy control.

Things like recognizing peoples past traumas or health issues like cancer or ALS.

There’s an old story about Winston Churchill about how he and a number of generals were arguing about what tactics to use during WWII.

The conversation was a morass of voices and ego. As the story goes, he took them all outside and made them look up at the stars for 10 minutes.

He then stated that they should now all feel sufficiently small to continue, and took them back inside.

If you want a real challenge, look for the spaces that can not be controlled, and bring life to them.

It will redefine your understanding of strength.

[Hin]

If you are happy working then work. After all Warren Buffet, Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk are all still working.

[Donna]

You are in a sweet spot and I think all you need is a loving wife and more traveling. So go on dates find that one lucky girl and see the world.

Don’t listen to that guy Russel commenter he doesn’t know what the true meaning of life is.

It’s not true that our only purpose is to prorecreate, there are many roles that don’t require you to have kids for example, being a priest, those priests have a very meaningful role in the community and to be able to focus on that they can’t have kids and wife.

Find joy in sharing your talents, be generous and be a blessing to others.

[Thanh]

I know you asked for advice but given your life and career path, I think I need to learn from you. I’m 34 and looking to change career into financial analyst.

It has been pretty tough finding a job and I’m a bit clueless on how to pivot.

If you could share any advices on how to make the transition, I would super appreciate to hear it.

[Valerie]

You could start a nonprofit for something you care about – dog shelter, environment, veterans affairs, fixing the TX electric grid, etc. Make it as local as you like.

Speaking as someone who has college age kids, I would not start in my 40s.

You are in a great position to make a meaningful difference in your community.

[Dane]

Having enough money creates the problem of having to figure out what gives your life meaning beyond supporting your immediate financial needs

[Russell]

You keep mentioning and then rejecting the answer to your own question.

Kids.
A USN Commander once told me, more than 20 years ago, “the purpose of life is to have good stories to tell your grandkids.” It captures a lot in a few words.

Your kids need to survive. To be well adjusted enough to get their own relationships.

To like you enough to bring the grandkids around. And you need to do it while doing cool shit yourself.

You did the last part…but that’s the easiest part! Yes, your friends with kids are under strain.

They have not just extra mouths to feed and clothes to buy and interests to finance, but they also have to raise them right and worry about so many things that can go wrong.

You “solved” life by opting out of 90% of it.

If you use cheat codes in a game do you get bored of it faster? Yup.

So why are you surprised you’re bored, unfulfilled, and lacking in purpose when you dialed the difficulty so far down?

[Zach]

Clearly, what’s missing here is some surfing and sky diving. Go watch Point Break and get after it!

[Ani]

Second career that is flexible but interesting? Consulting internationally?

As for dating, if I were you I’d look for someone mid-forties and above who either has adult children or has gone through menopause so having new children isn’t a dealbreaker.

Good luck!

[Christine]

Don’t change a thing. Invest in your community and people who could use your talent and skills to grow into their full potential.

No one finds “fulfillment” in marriage or kids, they discover what they love about their family and make a commitment to investing in their family’s life and future.

[Melissa]

How can you add value to your community or the globe? How can you set up win-win situations? With Hands On Manila, they organized Shell Oil employees for a day or two revamping a school in a low income area.

I attended with a friend. The school had input and benefitted from new paint, murals, medical and academic supplies.

The employees volunteered and felt good about their input. Shell Oil Co. had instant team building and a large tax write-off.

And the organization met its mission. Lots of win-wins.

How might you set up a situation where you feel purposeful, your community has input and some accountability, and they gain from your insight, funds, or time?

An example from my hometown involves their annual parades.

An article ran in the local paper years back stating that the parades were canceled due to a shortfall of five hundred dollars.

The Memorial Day and 4th of July parades bring together the community each year. I now help to cover the costs of the insurance even though I live far away.

My earnings and efforts have purpose and my hometown has a bit of a boost.

[Author]

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