[Brianna]

My son is about to start looking for an engagement ring, and I’d love to help him make a smart, financially informed decision.

When my spouse and I got engaged 30 years ago, we went the traditional route—walking into a local jewelry store and picking something out. But times have changed, and I know there are many more options out there now.

I’m hoping to get advice from those who’ve recently gone through this process or have done some research. Are there any good alternatives to traditional jewelry stores that offer quality and value?

Maybe online retailers, wholesale markets, or even custom designers?

I’d appreciate any FI (financial independence)-minded tips or experiences that could help him get the best value without compromising on something meaningful and beautiful.

Thanks in advance!

[Emily]

If she likes the look of a diamond, lab grown and moissanite are great alternatives to mined diamond!

[Sigur]

20 years ago my first husband gave me a 2 carat canary diamond valued at $18,000. It’s still valued at $18,000 and I probably couldn’t sell it for more than 10k.

Second marriage I decided to go completely different and my center stone is a Tanzanite.

I get constant compliments on it because it is so different.

I made a much better decision the second time around on the husband too.

[Ashley]

Her wishes to be considered. That’s a deeply personal decision – some women dream of a gorgeous expensive diamond and will skimp on other things and some are happy with moissanite or even just a band.

It’s rarely a complete surprise so these discussions can happen.

Costco has fantastic deals – but there are women who would prefer it came from a traditional jewelry store.

It’s all about knowing who you’re with.

[Rami]

Definitely shop around. I proposed about 1.5 yrs ago. We checked pawn shops and checked out jewelry stores as well.

We got a good idea of what we both liked and didn’t like.

I ended up buying new, but only bc I wanted something very specific.

Still spent relatively little in comparison to what some people spend.

[Jennifer]

Find out what SHE wants. Talk to her mom, best friend, etc. If it’s a surprise. But they should probably have a discussion in general about rings and marriage (if they haven’t).

She may not want something big and flashy. I didn’t, even if we were ok on big $.

I worked in the medical field, wearing gloves all day, washing my hands all day.

I wanted something smaller, low profile.

[Dillon]

Moissanite.
Practically as hard as a diamond. Brighter, less flaws.
Fraction of the cost.

Of course it should be a discussion with their partner.

No bait and switch. Not starting off on deception.

[Stephanie]

Unpopular opinion, but I don’t like lab grown stones. If a diamond wasn’t in my budget, I’d get a different stone like sapphire.

Are there any stones in the family to be inherited down?

That would be more special than something ordered off temu.

[Collin]

Knowing your partner is the best advice. I have friends who are super attached to their wedding rings and they are deeply meaningful to them. Me?

My marriage is deeply meaningful but the ring is merely an accessory for me to play with and change at will.

I have a small and thoughtfully curated collection of moissanite rings that I wear as the mood suits me.

A 20K ring would be totally wasted on me and luckily my partner knew that and invested that money for our future instead.

After 17 years of marriage it’s worth a lot more now than it would have been in a ring. Haha.

It could be the complete opposite for the next person. I’d start with that and budget accordingly.

[Lindsey]

Have him decide his max budget.
Look at natural diamonds & look at lab grown, not from a jeweler (they still extremely inflate lab grown prices) that are within budget.

Then, determine if size & quality, or age & creation process are more important to fiancée.

Both are real diamonds, professionals cannot tell the difference without 10x magnification.

[Yamilec]

Like others said, he needs to speak to her about it. Everyone is different. I would’ve been upset if my husband spent two month’s salary or whatever nonsense on a ring.

I specifically told him if he was waiting to save up for a ring not to.

He bought me a simple ring from Macy’s for about 2.5k and we got married in the living room of our new house.

Spent the money we would’ve shelled out on an expensive ring and wedding to renovate our home instead which had a much higher ROI than a ring.

To each their own, he needs to find out from her.

[Nick]

We went with lab grown from a local jeweler and it was a great experience. I would also say throw out that old adage of “a ring should cost three months salary.”

Weddings, honeymoons, and houses are so expensive now that I think that money is far better spent somewhere else.

I’d also advise opening a new card to hit the sign up bonus with the cost of the ring.

Congrats to him!

[Roxan]

He should get her in on the ring design process. The jewelry store person told us 75% of couples shop for the ring together. I just had them custom design one for me and appreciated the process!

Also, go with a lab diamond instead of natural.

It’s still a real diamond, but natural diamonds are stupidly expensive and none hold their value well unless it’s an extremely large or rare type of diamond.

[Leanne]

You can shop newer companies (like mine) that are new jewelers breaking into certain markets.

I just did a diamond, garnet and ruby bracelet well under market because I wanted to be able to use photos and start adding it to my collection of things we offer!

I also have access to the same settings and stones as most jewelers but as we’re just starting out I’m more flexible with pricing

[Jeff]

I would avoid the chain stores. I lived in Chicago when I shopped for a stone. If your city has a jeweler’s row like Chicago does (Wabash Ave) I’d go there.

Stay away from store fronts since they have to pay higher rent for the exposure to foot traffic. I walked into one highrise that was nothing but jewelry stores.

Educate yourself on how stones are graded and buy the stone separate from the setting.

Also, buy from what they have on hand.

If they tell you they can get you what you want they’re just going to another jeweler and you’re adding another layer of who’s getting paid.

Lastly, buy what you like.

[Kim]

My ring years ago came from blue Nile online. Not even sure they are around anymore you buy the stone first.

Michael M has some beautiful settings . My setting came from that designer after my ring bridge broke several years back.

He should really get a sense though if she would want a lab created one.

Some women care more about the visual of the ring and carat size more than if it’s real.

Something for him to consider and maybe get a general sense of her feelings on this

[Adam]

After seeing the value a ring got in our divorce mediations, I cannot imagine why anyone would pay full price for a diamond anymore.

Our ring would go for about 32% of what we paid.

We decided to just hold it and see if one of the kids wants it when they get married.

[Author]

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