[Laurie]

You don’t get to choose how other people live their lives. Stop arguing.

[Laura]

Spending money isn’t necessarily required for happiness. If they’re happy they’re happy.

If you don’t want their inheritance, pass it in to the next in line or donate it.

[Lern]

My mom is elderly and likes to sit home and watch TV. She has decided she doesn’t want to travel anymore and she has never been a spender. She is on the purge stage of life rather than purchasing.

Everyone is different. If I were you, I would ask myself why I care so much.

In what way could they spend their money that would make you happy? Sounds like a deeper past issue going on here.

Most people are angry that people spend too much. I’d be thankful I have parents with no financial issues to pass on and leave them be.

[Damon]

Let them enjoy themselves in the way they know how. You made your point now move on. Even if it comes from a place of love doesn’t mean you keep repeating yourself.

It doesn’t sound like they are hurting anyone.

If they pass away and you don’t want anything left then ask what charity or cause they’d like it to go to.

[Lindsay]

End of life care is costing a shocking amount of money going on month 14. The last years of a person’s life are the most expensive by a mile.

I am POA for 3 over 80s. Believe me they may still need it all yet.

You may think I’m exaggerating, but you can’t save too much money for end of life care.

[Lori]

Assisted living and memory care aren’t covered by medical insurance. My mother in law pays $10k a month for her memory care unit she’s been there for 2 years.

She has no idea where she is or who we are.

I would let them be and enjoy them and not argue.

[Jennifer]

There may come a time when they worry they may need to utilize more of the money they aren’t spending.

If they are happy, let them enjoy their retirement.

My parents are in their 70’s as well, very similar situation but they are from a different generation than us, no changing their minds.

[Andrea]

Leave them be. Down the line one or both of them might need to be in assisted living and that costs thousands of dollars a month.

That nest egg will be nice to have then.

[Amar]

70 years of living a certain way , I’m sure they won’t change and they don’t have to.

If they are happy then let them be, I would only intervene if it’s affecting their health otherwise let them enjoy the way they want

[Bernadette]

Your first mistake is arguing over their money to them. Why screw up what seems to be a good relationship with your parents.

because of your displaced desires for their money. Step back.

Gently encourage here and there- but leave them alone.

[Jeff]

I would just plan things with them….spend time while there is still some time left.
ALSO, and I wish I had done this…

Sit down with them and ask them questions about their life, let them tell you stories…. And record it all on video.

That way you’ll have some thing to look back on when you remember how wonderful it was.

[Michelle]

Many people reject the concepts in “Die with Zero” because it is quite extreme. You are causing them needless stress in expecting them to embrace that philosophy, and needless conflict in your relationship with them.

Just graciously take the inheritance and then if you still don’t want it, do something charitable with it.

God knows there are plenty of organizations in need.

You could start researching gifting options now and turn it into a passion project.

[Andrea]

Help them spend by letting them sponsor family vacations.

[Becky]

We cannot control other people. The last thing elderly people need is others telling them what to do. You were probably their “why”.

Empower them and respect their wishes.

[Vira]

Spend on services that would help them— landscaper, house cleaner. Maybe a bathroom or kitchen upgrade. New furniture?

[Jacob]

I’m in my 30s with parents in their 60s and recently retired. I made them listen to die with zero and they enjoyed.

Booked a cruise to Alaska

[Haseeba]

My parents are the same, and same age. They are being careful in case they need to hire full time careful in home in the future because they know that will deplete them fast

[Jule]

Your parents earned their money and have the right to spend, save or do whatever they want their money.

It’s not up to you. Let it go!

[Lily]

Do they have grandkids? If they are worried about leaving and inheritance, Would they be open to spending some of it on a family vacation to make more memories?

Other than that I agree with letting it be.

As long at their home is safe for them.

[Heath]

If it were me, as long as they’re not doing something clearly harmful to them (like refusing to spend money to fix a broken roof or similar), I’d honor their wishes.

If they find more joy from setting you up for a comfortable inheritance than what they’d get from spending (traveling, vacation homes, etc.), I’d honor those wishes.

[Author]

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