[Sage]

Does anyone actually FIRE single?
I guess like everyone else I’m feeling behind. 40 years old, two kids(11 and 1)with different mothers, my experience with women this far can only be described as “trash pandas”.

Barely 50k in retirement.

I’ve been reading a lot of books recommended and it’s almost always a married couple taking this journey together.

I’m fortunate enough to make good money(100k+) and I spend almost nothing that isn’t food and/or kids but man kids are expensive.

Sometimes I get caught up thinking about how much easier it would be with a strong competent partner.

Is it even possible to FIRE on one income?

[Nikki]

You’re way ahead of me, and I’m turning 39 next week. I got a late start because I was a stay at home mom, but then my husband decided to leave me for an employee of his.

I literally just put the first $60 in my brand new retirement account last week.

We gotta start somewhere, and it sounds like you’re ahead of the general population! You’re doing great!

[Kylie]

I’m single FIRE! 38 and could retire by 40 if I wanted to.

[Opelt]

Im in a long term relationship, but pursuing FIRE solo. We are a great couple, but we don’t combine finances and will not get married.

Because he isn’t interested in financial growth or pursuing that same goal, I am planning financially as a “single” person.

I do wish I had someone to build with sometimes though.

[Julissa]

I’m a single parent to four boys and live modestly in a HCOL area. I’m on track to pay off my house this year at 42.

I plan on upping my employer’s retirement contributions after that.

I like my job and may not retire early but definitely more comfortable

[Jared]

If you are paying child support for both and to two different women, that may be a huge financial constraint eating into any disposable income you have for FIRE, depending on your situation.

I have one child from a previous marriage that turns 18 this year, and two with my current wife.

My child support is our largest monthly expense, and there isn’t anything I can do to lower that (state sets the guidelines).

I can’t pay it off, can’t sell it like an asset to lower expenses. My wife and I are both high income earners, but the real “raise” we will get this year is 25% reduction in spending from no more child support.

My advice is that “this too shall pass”. Keep your expenses low and try to save as much as possible, the kids won’t always be so expensive.

[Kylie]

My husband was in similar situation with you before we married. He couldn’t built any wealth when his ex wife spent it all and constantly got them into debts.

Child support for 2 kids were very expensive and like someone else said, there was nothing you could do about it.

When me met in our late 30s, we were both very careful making sure that the other person was on the same mindset financially before getting serious.

We have worked together supporting each other career to increase our income, saving, investing and building wealth to the level that neither of us could have done on our own.

The point is it’s much better emotionally and financially to walk your journey with the right partner, but it’s also better to walk alone than with the wrong one.

The right one for you is out there but may take time to find. Focus on your own in the meantime and be very choosy in your next search. Good luck.

[Jennifer]

Maybe you should have picked a better partner to bring children into this world with. Now you’ve left behind not one but two broken homes.

[Robert]

I don’t see it why it is not possible to FIRE on one income; by the way, I’ve been engaged twice and neither one worked out. While of course it would be easier with a strong and competent partner; that is not always possible.

(indeed I walked away from my second engagement; because I eventually realized that my fiancé had no conception of the term “ financially, responsible behavior” (and she had modeled for PLAYBOY.).

Many popular books and financial gurus talk about how in fact the selection of a partner is one of the most important steps toward, not simply FIRE; but also reasonable financial behavior before you get to retirement.

For us single dudes, it is indeed not easy out there.

[Corey]

One of the most valuable lessons in my divorce that I did not even appreciate until I got into my new relationship (going on four years) is that the single most important decision you will make in life is who you take on as a spouse.

More important than which business you start, what investment you make (or don’t), and certainly more important than what degree/career you choose.

It is the one decision that has a lasting outcome on all others, to include both your physical and mental well being- and it is one we often allow the opinions of others and incentives of government (tax benefits, increased pay (military)) to push us into too early in our journey.

You are in fact fortunate however- you have the gift of children, positiveish net worth, and perhaps many wake ups left with which to write your story and find a suitable, supportive, co-author. Good luck.

[Ebony]

Solo single person here in early 40s working towards FIRE. Been at it for some years now. Had some setbacks because of medical issues, but staying the course.

There are times I believe it would be much easier to reach my financial goals with a like minded spouse/partner, but it’s just me/ so I’ll make it work

[Donna]

I think single people can FIRE sooner than married people unless your partner is a super earner like you. Your FIRE number is lesser than a family and your expenses will be more under your control.

I think if I were a guy in your situation, I will get a vasectomy if having children is what is keeping you behind, a woman who doesn’t want kids is also an option later on.

I have a husband and a kid and I think if I remained single, I would have FIRE’d at 30 or 35.

I can acknowledge that not all women are martyrs there are some who are just there for your money and cheaters as well so I understand that you may have gotten the not so modest ones.

Keep working hard and improving yourself and once successful you can narrow down your search to women who are as successful as you with same values.

You attract what you put out there so if you are not in the best version of you now it’s better not to marry yet until you are because a better smart girl will go for someone better than her.

[Alison]

I’m doing it! I am in a relationship but he’s not financially stable so we keep all finances separate (no kids). I do pay the majority of the housing costs but I budget for it.

If he could contribute we’d be so much further ahead, but I changed my mindset on that and just budget for me and keep socking money away.

When I’m retired I’ll be planning girls trips while he’s grinding it out, but

[Lori]

I am actually going to have a slightly delayed (very slightly) FIRE timeline because my partner wasn’t as far along in his savings as I was when we met.

I was able to save and invest a bunch as a single person–and thankfully he wasn’t too far behind.

We live in a fairly LCOL area and neither of us makes a lot of money. The difference? He’s divorced with two kids.

If you’re single without kids, you’re more likely to be further ahead because it’s easier to keep your expenses down.

[Mikaela]

I’ve always been better off financially when I’m single rather than in a relationship, so I think it entirely depends on the person/couple in question.

Finances are a weird amount of psychology, so maybe therapy could help?

[Taliah]

I’m single, 1 income source and no kids. I will 100% FIRE, expecting to do so fat FIRE.

[Ruby]

The reality is that of course it’s more difficult as a single parent! The parents are providing double of most things such as housing, etc. instead of sharing that cost.

There’s no point in comparison to others, I’m just chipping away at saving as much as I can and I’ve finally reached 6-figure investments but I know I’m well behind others

Don’t get discouraged!

[Sophie]

I’m on the FIRE journey myself and have been long before I met my partner. He has the same mindset and goals. I won’t retire until I have enough to be OK on my own if needed.

We will live more comfortably sharing expenses, but if anything happens down the road, we’d both be fine.

For us, it’s a couple project, but also an individual journey.

[Christina]

My husband didn’t get his first job until he was 37 and he reached FI with his income alone.

Many people I know did it with one income.

[Christof]

I’ve always thought it was the opposite. It’s not impossible, but being a couple with kids dramatically raises the fu number needed to fire.

Being single, no kids, and 100k+ income in a mcol area almost guarantees fire if you live modestly.

That’s the route I’m currently on.

[Susanna]

I’m getting close to FIRE and I’m single – has nothing to do with being coupled or not but rather making good choices in every aspect of your life!

[Sandra]

I’m doing it on one income with a single kid. So yes, you can and don’t feel discouraged. Keep moving and learning.

Bare bones budget while you can and invest the rest.

[Teri]

Yes, I’m a single mother to 17 yr old who’s off to college in August. Divorce 7 yrs ago def set me back but also made me double down on FI.

College is fully funded, house hack a duplex in VHCOL area.

Although I like my career I will retire next year at 60 with full benefits – a little later than I would’ve liked but divorce is expensive!

[Susan]

Yes. People do. That’s my plan. I was bleeding money when I was married and afraid to do it again.

Can’t be stupid twice and marriage is risky for someone like me.

[David]

I’m single and what I’ve noticed is that we tend to miss the “economies of scale” that comes from coupling. But that is the truth in marriages/relationships regardless of FI/RE status or income.

Some typical number I’d see: Single Person needs $40k / year in retirement. Married Couple needs $60k / year in retirement.

Hypothetical numbers, but it makes the point. Rent or mortgage, internet service, utilities for the most part, etc. all cost the same whether one or two people use them.

One solution (call me crazy) is to have roommates so you can get the economy without the challenges of a relationship.

On the topic of relationships, I usually have the FI/RE discussion early in dating to put my cards on the table and to see what they are agreeable to.

Most people (obviously) are planning on a traditional retirement, so there are all kinds of things which need to be sorted out when considering coupling-up when you started the journey alone.

[Author]

Posts